Page 58 of Bottoms
“Where’s Tanner?” I asked.
“He just left a few minutes ago. He had to meet with Hannah, but he will be back as soon as it’s over.” Colten sighed. “Before he left, he told us you woke up last night. Are you ready to see everyone?” He looked nervous, like he expected my answer to be no.
“Of course, I want to see everyone. Let’s keep it to one at a time to start.”
Colten nodded like he agreed at least one at a time would be the calmest way to do this.
“Who do you want to be sent in first?”
“You’re already here,” I suggested. Getting a sense that he was worried I didn’t want to talk to him, just like he worried when I hadn’t texted him after I got my phone back.
“Is there anything you need? Are you in pain? I’m not sure what time the doctor is planning on coming in to check on you,” he started, the words flying out of his mouth.
“Colten,” I said firmly, getting him to snap out of whatever little freak-out he was having.
He stopped, turning to face me like he desperately needed instruction. While Colten would thrive outside of Tanner’s limitations, he didn’t know how to make decisions for himself, either. The past few days left Colten feeling like a ship without a compass while he waited to see if I would live or die. Colten and Fynn had reached a point of dependency, and my death was something that neither of them could come back from.
“How are you?” I asked, not knowing what kind of response to expect, but I was responsible for taking care of them. Just like they were in charge of my needs.
Colten laughed like I had just told him the funniest joke. His hand came up to push his glasses back in place before heading straight for his hair to push it back as well.
“I don’t know how to answer that question,” Colten said, laughing lightly in his discomfort. “I thought my life was over when Fynn backed away from you in the loft.” There was a pure agony in his eyes before anger replaced it. “And it would have been all my fault. It was my idea to try to kidnap you back.” His eyes were full of pain and remorse. He had held on to the weight of my life on his shoulders, assuming the responsibility alone.
“The things Fynn does with his hands are not your fault. And I think you forget that I was the one that asked to be put in that room with him and agreed to go under his blade. If anything worse had happened-”
“If it had gone any worse, you would be dead right now, Vanessa,” Colten interrupted.
He looked at me, and I could see that, for a moment, his heart shattered before coming back together like a video on rewind when he had thought I was dead. He had a truth about himself now and the pain. He would spend every day of his life knowing what it would feel like when the day eventually came, and I died. I couldn’t live forever, and he would be haunted by that.
“I told Tanner I want to stay at Tops until I finish my degree. Then I want to move out to the country somewhere. A small, quiet town, or maybe a big house in the middle of nowhere. Can you still practice law from somewhere like that?” Reminding him he had a life outside of me.
“I don’t care what I’m doing if you’re happy. Between us, we have enough money to take care of your every wish without ever having to work another day. Especially if we get out of the city.” The fantasy of some quiet life with me sprang in Colten’s mind, and he came to sit in the chair beside my bed. A true smile threatened to peek from his lips.
“That sounds wonderful,” I sighed. Letting myself get lost in his version of our future. At some point, I stopped thinking about work and started thinking more about the people I would share my days with. “We could move to Iowa. Maybe get a baby cow,” I teased. The thought of Colten in overalls instead of a suit popped into my mind. Making me laugh until a sharp pain in my stomach suggested I calm down.
Colten looked stunned. Watching me crack up to my mental joke must have been mildly disturbing, because he looked at me like I was fascinating. If this was entertaining, he needed to hang out with me more often now that Fynn had jumbled things up inside my brain. I could do all sorts of little tricks like that now.
I almost started laughing again, but didn’t as soon as I saw Colten get up to stand.
He started with his tie. Grabbing hold of the knot and coaxing it free. He placed it on the chair delicately. He took off his suit jacket next, and I may as well have had a bowl of popcorn with me as I watched. The way I felt watching Colten take off his suit was practically a sin.
My body started sending confusing messages to my brain as a low hum or arousal awakened in me, despite being an absolutely terrible time to mess around. The stitches in my stomach called out a warning as I shifted in the bed.
His pants were the next to go, and I could see the outline of his cock in his boxers. They stayed on his hips as he slipped beneath the covers like a shadow. I had forgotten how stealthy Colten was. He crowded up close to me, careful of my injury, as he pressed his skin against mine. His arm wrapped around my chest as he tucked my head beneath his chin. Holding me to him like he was a scared little boy with a blanket.
ColtensentFynninafter he spent more than an hour cuddled up with me in the bed. I didn’t press him to talk about anything, and he had been content simply holding me in his arms. I felt it would take a while before they weren’t walking on eggshells all the time, worried that a strong breeze would kill me. I had to remember to take a deep breath, particularly regarding Fynn.
He crept into my room with a hoodie, looking more like a sulking teenager than the embodiment of death. Fynn knew he fucked up so bad he put himself in a timeout. He wasn’t allowed to be the hulking six-foot, tattooed, muscled, bad-boy assassin right now. Right now, he was in trouble, and the last time he had been in trouble like this must have been when he was a kid.
Fynn wasn’t so hard to figure out. All you had to do was listen. Once you understood his language, that is.
“I know the doc said six to eight weeks, but he’s just telling you the bullshit insurance company line. You can get back to training in two weeks. Watch.” There was a mischievous smirk on his face.
So teenage Fynn liked to deflect and avoid when he was in trouble too. Good to know.
My mind continued evaluating Fynn. He had real mental health issues and was dangerous. But I wasn’t afraid. There was a deep current of regret that filled his eyes. That look gave me hope for one of the futures Colten and I dreamed up. One where we could all live together, engrossed in each other’s company. Without the constant threats coming at me left and right. Fynn might be ready to let a little peace into his heart.
“Are you going to kill me?” I asked him, raising one eyebrow.
