Page 59 of Bottoms
Yes. I did it!
“No, sweetheart,” he said, crossing the room and heading straight for the bed. He sat down on the bottom, his hand coming up to pat where my legs were beneath the blanket. He shook his head. “No, I will kill myself before I ever hurt you again.” He said it with confidence.
“Was the truth worth the pain?” I asked.
“It’s a truth I should have known a long time ago. But I guess even old, grumpy men like me still need a hard kick in the ass to set us straight,” he laughed, scratching at the back of his neck. None of them knew how to apologize, and Fynn was the worst. Yet, I had heard the words from his lips before and knew I could get him to do it again.
Fynn may have thought he was changing me, but I had also changed him.
“You’re not even that old,” I said with a playful laugh. Wanting him to know that I wasn’t upset. It was no more his fault than mine for trying to control how he broke. That night should have gone a million other ways than it had, and I had picked a bad plan.
“I’ll be thirty-five in October,” he said proudly.
“Oh, man, you practically have one foot in the grave.”
My teasing seemed to help Fynn relax a bit more, but I was still missing his hard elements from back at the farmhouse. He didn’t need to be sweet all the time. After all, he was the one that gave me a taste for sour.
“Did you learn to just fuck me next time like I wanted? Preferably keeping stabbing to a minor flesh wound.” I smiled, hoping he could understand what I was saying. I had accepted him into my heart, along with the rest of them, long before this epiphany. I knew about the dark shadows that haunted them all, whispering dark delights along with the lovely, fantasy life. Fynn didn’t have to give up all of who he was to fit in place.
“I’m not sure I’m going to bring knives into the bedroom for some time, but if you hurry up and get better, I will take you into the bedroom.”
My heart thumped, and a smile of pure happiness spread across my cheeks.
“Good,” I said emotionally. I wasn’t sure why a lump was forming in my throat, so I tried to clear it away. Tears started to well in my eyes.
I was not about to start crying because Fynn said I finally get dick. Pull yourself together.
I sniffled, laughing lightly at myself. Fynn had a smug look on his face. Rolling my eyes, I had a feeling he would bring this up all the time. He would certainly use it against the others whenever the opportunity arose.
Fynn got up to leave. When he got to the door, a thought popped into my mind.
“How are you doing not being in charge anymore?” I asked. That had to be a big change for Fynn, and I worried he wouldn’t do well being told what to do.
“I was never supposed to be in charge, Vanessa,” he said, turning back to face me as he opened my door wide. “It was always supposed to be you. I just had to make you strong enough to handle us first. But I’ve always let you be in charge and, simultaneously, know with absolute certainty I own you. That hasn’t changed.”
He slipped through the door, leaving me with my thoughts.
Aknockcameatmy door long after the doctor left. The soup he had wanted me to eat had turned cold. He had agreed that healing wouldn’t take the full six to eight weeks, as long as I was careful not to push myself. The blade's curve had bitten deeply at the start, but that was a small part of the cut.
I sat up straighter in my bed as Nik walked in. Pillows against my back helped prop me up without using too many of my stomach muscles. The tip had dug in deepest, just to the right of my belly button, and as long as I didn’t touch that spot, the pain was tolerable.
“Hey, beautiful,” Nik said, offering me a small bouquet of flowers.
“Did you have to work today?” I asked, as he took the flowers over to my table and put them in my vase. There were perfectly fine flowers, but Nik threw them in the trash to replace them with his.
“I have to work every day,” he sighed. “But it’s nice to know I come home to you every night. I plan on moving the stuff out of my apartment this weekend.” He smiled like he was looking forward to the process of boxing up his belongings and taking them from one place to another.
Weirdo.
I smiled in the way Nik always made me smile. “I’m guessing you don’t have any complaint about quitting your job and moving with me into the country?”
He came to sit on the bed, scooting in as close as he could until we sat next to each other with our backs against the headboard.
“No complaints at all from me. You can work at a museum all day, and I will be the stay-at-home dad,” he said, bringing his arm around my shoulders. Or at least that was what he attempted to do before I pushed his arm off me.
“Who said anything about kids?” I said, looking him up and down like he was crazy.
“Well, not now,” he said, trying to backpedal.
