Page 1 of Finding Solace
CHAPTER ONE
REID
Road Captain. That’s my title—my position in The Kings of Retribution MC. It may sound egotistical of me, but I'm fuckin' good at what I do. As the Road Captain, I manage all the runs. I earned the position because I'm efficient at researching, planning, and organizing. Right down to the tiniest of details for things to run as smooth as possible. If something goes wrong on the road, it's on me. My brothers trust in my ability to stay on top of things and plan accordingly because everything can change at a moment's notice. I have their backs as much as they have mine. Amongst other things, I'm good with a gun. Doc taught me and my little brother Noah alongside Logan growing up. My pops, he taught me how to ghost out—not be seen. Over time it proved a valuableskill.
Am I a saint? Far from it. Have I taken someone's life? I've done things in my life for my club—for my family that would be considered ruthless and would do them again if it meant the end result kept them safe. Which is why my head is so fucked up. I've been laid up in this damn hospital and can't perform my responsibilities for my club. It's killin'me.
I thought losing my leg a few years ago was some of the toughest shit I had to try and overcome, but this… lying here in this shitty ass hospital bed all busted up with some loss of mobility to the lower half of my body because of swelling around my lower spine and my arm broken in two places is proving to beworse.
Waking up after the accident, I remember my first initial thoughts being of Alba and Leyna. Were they safe? Did Gabriel get to them in time? Eventually, everyone assured me both women were fine, and Alba and Gabriel had even welcomed their first child, but it didn't do much in ridding me of the guilt I felt that they were in danger in the first place. If I hadn't fallen asleep I would have been there sooner, and none of it would have happened. Not only that; I couldn't believe I missed out on one of my brothers becoming adad.
I'm starting to get sensation back in my legs, but not nearly enough to stand on my own. It's been four weeks of lying in this bed, and it's starting to wear on my nerves. Day in and day out I lay here as people come in and out, poking and prodding me. Everyone tells me it will get better in time. Meanwhile, their lives are carrying on while mine is at a standstill. Sure, the guys have been coming in almost every day to catch me up on club shit, but it's done nothing to help my mood. The fact that I can't get up and walk on my own free will is fuckin' up my head way more than it should for someone who has already had to learn to walk twice in their life. Now I'm going to have to do it all overagain.
A light knock on the door draws my attention away from the self-pity I'm rolling in. My nurse from the past few weeks, Vanessa, walks in wearing a smile on her face, "Good morning, Mr. Carter, it's time to work some more on you learning how to transfer yourself from the bed to your wheelchair before you get released today," shesays.
Throwing my blanket to the side, I use my left arm and reach up for the support above my head and pull myself into an upright position, and attempt to move my lower half to the side of the bed. The nurse rolls my chair over, and I lower thebed.
"Okay, slowly shift your weight until you slide into thechair."
I'll have a better chair waiting for me at home, one I should be capable of handling on my own. It will be easier to use with my broken arm. I've gone from riding a 1973 Harley Davidson Shovelhead to a wheelchair. Frustration is getting the better of me, mostly because this damn cast hinders my ability to do more on my own, so I'm pretty much relying solely on my left arm to support the weight of my six-foot-two-inch frame. With a little assistance, I clear the bed and get my ass situated in theseat.
"Great, let's do this a few more times before the doctor makes his rounds this morning," she encouragesme.
I have to give her a lot of credit. My nurse has put up with my moody ass for weeks. Even when I've gotten to the point I've wanted to punch myself for being such adick.
"You know… I'm gonna miss seeing all those handsome men coming through here every day to visit you. It gives all us nurses something to look forward to," she playfully says with a smile as she stands close by in case I need her to assistme.
"I'm ready to get the hell out of here," I grunt as I finish hoisting myself across the edge of the hospital bed and into thewheelchair.
"You should be starting a more vigorous form of physical therapy soon. Don't worry, before you know it you'll be on your feet again," She tellsme.
We do this several more times over the course of an hour until my muscles are on fire from the workout I've given them. In all, I only needed assistance one time. Vanessa helps me back into the bed before saying her goodbyes, "I have faith that in a couple of months you'll be walking. Stay positive." She says before walking out thedoor.
I'm closing my laptop after checking on the delivery status of the equipment I ordered a week ago when I hear someone rap on my door and Prez comes strollingin.
"Hey, Prez, what brings you here this morning? Thought you and the guys had a meeting with city council about the new building going up downtown." Iask.
"Still do. I just wanted to swing by and see if there is anything the brothers and I can do to help get things ready for you to go home." He states as he strides over to the chair across the room by the window and takes aseat.
I feel terrible that he has so much on his plate. Jake has taken over running the construction company with Nikolai while I'm laid up. Our company is brand new and is doing well. I know Jake is more than qualified to help keep things running, but hopefully, that will all change just as soon as I get settled into a new routine athome.
"Yeah, I have a guy delivering some equipment sometime today. Maybe have one of them hang out at my place for a while just in case I don't get out of here intime."
"Sure, they going to install this stuff too?" heasks.
"Yeah," I inform him. "And I'm sorry all this shit has been put on your shoulders,Prez,"
"It's nothin' I can't handle. Logan has taken full control of the daily running of the shop, and Quinn hired another mechanic to help. We got it all covered,son."
"A repairman is supposed to swing by my place around noon to fix the old freight elevator in the back that I never got around to working on. I'll need to make sure it's up and running before I get home, or I'll be sleeping on the couch in my office," I tellhim.
Leaning forward, Prez looks at me, "Listen, I know this may have been mentioned to you by the doctor already, but have you thought about hiring home care while you're still recovering? Don't go taking all this shit on by yourself. I know you,Reid."
Of course, the doctor made mention of it. At the time I was against it, and I still am. The thought of having to rely on someone else to take care of me and my needs when I'm a grown ass man doesn't sit well with me. Having to have help showering, getting dressed or even using the damn bathroom is not easy for me. The last thing I need is a lecture. I know it's coming from a good place, but at the moment I don't want to hearit.
Clearing his voice, Prez stands up from his chair, "If help is what the doctor thinks you need then you should do it. Pride can be a man's downfall. Do whatever it takes to get better," Prez says in a firm, fatherly voice. It makes me think of my old man and the fact that if he were still alive, he would be kicking my ass right now for feeling angry and sorry formyself.
"I'll give it some more thought," I tellJake.
