Page 56 of Bound By Redemption
“Sounds like you’ve grown up, Micah.” This warmed me.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves now,” I teased, but it was the truth.
Ensley laughed, catching my sarcasm. Yes, I loved that she got me. I loved how easy it was to talk to her and know she would be by my side through all of it.
“Why did you go off to the Marines?” she asked me, and part of me dreaded this because Emery was involved, and I didn’t want Ensley to think that Emery was anywhere on my mind anymore.
“Bear with me.”
Her head bolted up, eyes connecting with mine. “That doesn’t sound good.”
I sucked in a breath but didn’t respond to that because I had no idea how she’d take what I was about to say. There were already enough fires burning, and one more could make it out of control. “While I was an outcast to many around here, I never was to Emery. She would come and talk to me, seeing what I was up to. She’d break away from her pack and go take a walk with me. Pretty much, she was my only friend. Somewhere in all of that it got twisted, and I thought Emery was mine.”
Ensley stiffened which was to be expected. I maneuvered us so we were laying on our sides, facing one another. I wanted to look deep in her eyes while I told this part. She didn’t put up a fight and even smiled, liking us being close. Which was good, considering I wasn’t letting this woman go.
“Emery’s mom and dad, GT and Casey, grew up together in the club. They had a rough road but ended up together. For some reason, I thought that would be us. That long standing expectation that she was to be my destiny. The push and pull along the way was part of our story. And being the cocky little shit I was, I never thought she’d go for another man. Jacks. I’d always thought she was my future just like her mother was GT’s. I got in the way of Jacks and Emery. All for some misconstrued fairy tale in my head. I tried hard to get her to choose me. Too hard considering if I would have stopped for a second and got my head outta my ass, I would have seen clearly the connection they shared. But she didn’t, and I realized I needed to get away from here. Away from the club. Away from my parents. Away from Emery. Away from it all. It was the reality check I needed. I didn’t belong. Not as the man I was back then. I needed some clarity. More than anything, I needed maturity. So I joined the Marines.”
Ensley’s gaze didn’t leave mine, and I could see all the questions rolling around inside of them. “Did you love her?”
“Thought I did, but in retrospect she was something I wanted to covet and take as my own. There was a friendship type of love there, but that was all. It took me a year or so into the Marines to really get my head on straight about her and the entire situation.”
“So if she walked up to you right now and said she wanted to divorce Jacks and be with you, you wouldn’t go?” The vulnerability in her question had my heart squeezing painfully. This was what she feared, and I needed to comfort her and show her that she was my future.
I pulled her tight to me, leaned down, and kissed her lips softly. “Absolutely not. I have all I want and need right here.” Her cheeks turned pink as she smiled. “I know you’re still waiting for an answer to your question, and I’m gettin’ to it.”
Her brows creased.
“The one earlier about bringing your baggage into Ravage and them being pissed at you.” A light dawned as she nodded slightly. “Now this is the kicker. Are you ready?”
“There’s more?” she asked with a raised brow. She didn’t quite know what she was getting herself into.
“Yeah.”
“Hit me with it,” she said on a smile.
“Before I left for the Marines, I wanted Ravage to pay for Emery not choosing me. Honestly, I was a man with a broken ego. I wanted the world to be brought to its knees the way I was. It was twisted; I’m well aware of it. But I hacked into the Ravage MC computer systems and went snooping anywhere I could find a little bit of dirt on the club. What I was going to do with it, I didn’t know. I wanted to have the power. My life was out of control and I needed to feel like I had an upper hand in something, anything. I just wanted them to feel like I did in that moment … weak.”
“You were a bit of a pain in the ass. Please tell me that you’re not like that anymore.” She rolled her eyes at me.
The corner of my lip tipped. “No. I’m not. I promise you that all the way down to my core.”
She leaned in and touched my lips. It was nice, and while I wanted to deepen it, there was still more to be said. My cock didn’t agree, but he’d have to wait.
“What I found changed Cruz and his family’s lives. Literally, I turned everything upside down, and I didn’t care about the carnage I’d left in my wake. I found out that Cruz had a son he didn’t know about, Crow. In a fucked up twist of fate, he’s actually the president of the Ravage MC Rebellion chapter out of Alabama. I don’t know if you’ve met him.”
Her face scrunched up as she thought. “I don’t think so.”
“Neither have I, except on paper. My downfall was not telling Cruz, my father, or the brothers when I learned of the paternity. It took me a bit to make sure that everything was concrete and fact. Even once I did, I waited until I was in the Marines. I basically covered my own ass, got out of dodge, and sent the information to my father. It was a pussy move to make.”
“Wow. I bet Cruz was pissed.”
She didn’t know the half of it.
“Remember my face the first time you saw me at the clubhouse?”
She gasped at my question, eyes wide with fright. It was cute that she felt this protective. “They hit you?”
“I wouldn’t have expected anything else, Ens. I'd fucked up. I’d crossed lines I knew better than to cross. Respect is a big thing here in the club, and I’d shit on that. Here, they don’t play by the rules that you would on the outside of those walls. They have their own sense of justice and dish it out regularly. I earned every hit I was given and honestly, more.”
