Page 39 of Bound by Wreckage
12
Carsyn
He sleeps on his back,his muscles stretching and contracting with each breath. Nox is a magnificent creature. Kind. Trustworthy. Compassionate. Understanding. Funny. Great to be around. His attributes go on and on.
Safe. That’s how I feel in his presence.
In another life,hewould be the man of my dreams. The one who would be by my side through the good times and the bad. The rock I could lean on to shoulder the weight of everyday life. The safety net I’ve always craved, and he’d do it proudly and be happy to have me on his arm.
In another life, we’d have children, who would have his gorgeous smile and eyes. We’d raise them to be stronglike their daddy.
In another life…
Not my life.
He’s leaving today, and I’m going to live with Gunny and Sharon. This is it. The last time that I’ll wake up in his arms and feel his warmth surround me. That I’ll be able to listen to the steady beat of his heart and feel safe. It’s all ending, and it hurts worse than ever getting hit by Buck.
It’s ripping me up, shreddingme. Tearing my soul in so many pieces, I’m not sure it’ll ever be put back together again. I’d wish for physical pain before ever feeling this way again. Physically I could heal, this—him leaving me—will sear my soul for the rest of my life. There will be no way to put a Band-Aid on it, and it’ll be gone in a few days. No, this is branded on every inch of my heart and soul, turning black anddecaying into dust.
No. This is a pain, a hurt that is so deep it’s like losing my mother all over again magnified by ten.
To never hear his laugh again or feel his lips on mine. To never have him tell me I’m beautiful when I don’t feel that way inside at all. To never hear his voice so deep and raspy.
It’s like a death. A little snapshot of what you’re supposed to have inlife, only to be whisked away and you never see it again. It’s final and forever. A chapter in my life that will never be replayed.
Yeah, today is going to be hard and I have to hide it.
Nox has done so much for me that he deserves to see me smile as he takes off. Not some crying pathetic woman that he did everything in the world to help. Today, the mask needs to go on, but I needto give him something to remember me by.
I want him to close his eyes and think of me. It’ll be my way of saying goodbye. Slowly, as not to wake him, I move down his body pushing the sheet as I go. He really does have a gorgeous body, and the way he let me take my time last night and explore him is an experience I’ll never forget.
Each muscle and ridge I’ve memorized. The way hefeels inside of me—no, that will never be forgotten.
I don’t want to feel broken and torn down by my past. The past that keeps pulling me down at every turn. The one that has its grips in me so tight, I’m not even sure I can get myself up.
For once, the past isn’t going to define me, even if it’s only for a few moments.
I want to give back to Nox something that he’ll alwaysremember of me. Something that proves that for a brief moment in time, I was normal and don’t have the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I want to be free. My determination kicks in because I don’t want him to remember me as that timid woman; instead, I want to be the one he’ll never forget. Sucking in a deep breath and squaring my resolve, the confidence that has been beaten and brokengives me enough strength to be bold.
I pull his cock into my mouth, sucking long and deep. He’s semi-erect, but that’ll change quickly. Circling my tongue around the crown, his taste on my lips. Nox’s body twitches, but I keep at my task, licking a line all the way up.
My gag reflex is non-existent, so when I take him fully in my mouth, he slides all the way inside, my nose tickledfrom his pubic hair. Nox jolts, and I look up to see his eyes fly open coming straight to me.
“Mornin’.” His gruff tone only spurs me on. Using my hand to jack and mouth to suck, my head bobs up and down over and over again. Nox’s legs quiver as his balls draw up. He’s close.
A loud pop fills the air when I release him, then lick his strong length. It becomes a mission to make himcome so hard it will be seared in his mind for all times.
“Fuck,” he groans, and I love it. “That mouth of yours, damn.”
Smiling around his cock, I really get to work bringing him to the point of orgasm, but not giving him enough to tip over.
“Carsyn,” he warns, and I giggle looking up at him. “Can’t take much more.”
“Sure you can.”
“Carsyn.” This time it’s moreof a plea for relief. I give in because come on, it’s Nox. Using hands, mouth, and tongue, I make him lose his ever-loving mind. When thick ropes of his come lands on my tongue, I swallow each wholeheartedly. I want him inside of me. And I’ll take what I can get.
