Page 24 of Needing to Fall
“One younger sister. She’s cool.”
I refused to pay mind to the dull ache that formed in my gut, but it seized me anyway.
“So, you have people who actually give a shit about you, and you want to spend your time here?”
Lynx turned his full attention to me like he knew I was having a hard time with this concept, like he knew I was suffering an inner turmoil. I didn’t know what to make of that.
“You can have good people around you, but that doesn’t fix what’s going on in your head. Yeah, I have a mom, dad, and sister, but you can be in a room of people and still feel absolutely alone.” He paused, thinking, then let out a deep sigh. “I got put in here the second time because an asshole broke into my parents’ home. I was staying with them, but was out with friends. The asshole beat the shit out of them, and unlucky for him, I showed up before he left. I assessed the situation, and let’s just say the motherfucker won’t ever walk again. It’s what landed me in here again.”
“Why would that put you in here?”
“Because I fucked the guy up pretty good. He was the enemy, and with my military training, I did quite a bit of damage. I had flashes of a different time in my life as I was laying him out. I got a bit lost in my head. I was deemed a danger to others.” Through his eyes, I could see the flashes of anger for the man who had hurt his parents, but I could totally relate to thedanger to otherspart.
The words fell from my lips. “But he beat up your parents.”
“Doesn’t matter. Once I had him knocked out and subdued, I was told I should have stopped, but I didn’t. I couldn’t make myself. That got me six months and four days in here.”
“I just don’t get that.” I didn’t. I didn’t understand how Lynx could get in trouble for protecting his family. Even if the guy was messed up, that was on the other guy for breaking into the place. “What about him? What’d he get?”
“Fucker spent a lot of time in a state health facility, so by the time he was well enough to move out, he only had six months left to serve.”
“The way of the world,” I grumbled. Didn’t I know it.
“But not my way.” The depths of Lynx’s eyes sparkled with menace.
In that moment, I wanted to ask him if he had made right by his parents, but I also knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t say a word, so I kept my mouth shut. Maybe I didn’t need to know that answer.
“Okay, so with those two and the reason you’re in this time, I know about three times; what’s the fourth?” I switched up.
“That was my own damn fault.” The room was hit with a heavy wave. The more it permeated, the more I could tell it was anger. “Had a friend who wanted to go to the fireworks for the Fourth of July. Something told me I shouldn’t have gone, but I didn’t listen. The first one went off, and I ended up taking a ride to the police station, which led me back in here.”
“The sound of the fireworks does that to you?”
He met my gaze. “Reminds me of bombs, gun shots, you name it. It puts me back in a place that I had to fight to get out of. I’m not talking about fighting to get out of my head; I mean physically fighting because I’m under attack. You don’t forget that shit. In order to survive, you have to rely on your instincts. Some sounds or situations trigger those. Then it’s like trying to tame a lion. It doesn’t happen overnight; it takes time and a fuck load of awareness.”
“I’ve only seen them once,” I said quietly.
“What?” Lynx asked.
“Fireworks. In twenty-one years, I’ve seen them once. My foster parent at the time kept saying how beautiful they were, but I kept seeing them as little explosions in the sky. I was waiting for one of them to fall in my lap and burn me. I was so terrified of it that I would panic at just the thought of going to see them or watching them on television. With my luck in life not being so great, I just knew I would be the one who got hurt if I went.” I immediately felt like an ass for putting that out there. Here Lynx was, telling about himself and what happened to him, and I was acting like a shit. Embarrassment flooded me, and my body began to get hot. “Sorry, Lynx, I didn’t mean to—”
He stopped me by holding his hand palm up. “Babe, it’s fine. I’d much rather listen to your shit than talk about mine.”
I thought that was nice, but still. “No, I mean—”
“Reign.” My name on his tongue was the most melodic sound I had ever heard. It was low, authoritative, but still gentle. I hadn’t had much gentle in my life, and it made me pause. “I mean it. If you’ve got something to say, say it. If it brings up something for you, let it. Why do you think doc put us together?”
My head swooped toward the desk. I had totally forgotten he was sitting there. Hell, he wasn’t even watching us. He was writing something down. Thinking about it, he was probably writing down what we said.
“Babe?” he called, and I instantly turned to him like my body just knew he was talking to me. “You’re good?”
I just nodded yet kept quiet as he continued.
“So, each time they put me in here, I learned something. I never went to college, but I have always been a fast learner. My dad told me that street smarts were a hell of a lot better than book smarts. He’d say, with me knowing both, I was a deadly combination.” His thumb and pointer finger began tracing his bottom lip, and then his tongue came out to lick it.
Holy shit. Why were parts of my anatomy that I had locked up starting to give a slight tingle? I shook my head and closed my eyes, but he was too deep in thought to notice.
“He had no idea how right he’d be.”
