Page 55 of Needing to Fall
“Babe, calm down. Watching you come was the fucking hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I came in my fucking jeans from watching you.”
I felt the heat hit my cheeks.
“That’s pretty fucking beautiful, too.” He laughed. “You know, I haven’t come in my jeans since I was thirteen.” He meant it as a joke, and to him, it was, but to me, it brought me back to my time as a thirteen-year-old. I didn’t have the same kind of memories he had, and I felt the dark cloud begin to encompass me.
“Babe. Don’t. Here and now,” he said, snapping my focus back on him. “I loved every second of that. We only think about what is happening right here and now.”
I nodded. He was right; none of that other stuff mattered.
“Not a word about me coming in my jeans.”
That made me chuckle.
“Why’s that?”
He lifted his brow. “The fact that I couldn’t hold it in because you looked so damn hot … Never mind, tell whoever the fuck you want. I don’t give a shit.” He pulled me down to him and kissed me softly and tenderly. “Now you’re gonna have to let me up so I can go clean myself up.”
I moved and smiled to myself as he left the room. I focused on the now, and it was fantastic.
It was going to be a bad day. I knew it as soon as my eyes fluttered open and the day’s sunlight came in through the curtains. I also knew it because of two things: one, I got up twice in the middle of the night and checked the locks on Andi’s doors, something I hadn’t done in a long time, and two, I dreamed of Drew.
The past four days since Lynx had brought me over for dinner had been wonderful. With each day that passed, he would either meet me before work or after. There hadn’t been a day that he had neglected to show me in some way that the kiss and other stuff we had done wasn’t wrong.
I had thought it at first. I had believed I was completely wrong for wanting something that felt so good, but over the days that had been relieved … until today.
I rolled over in bed and pulled the blankets over my head. I didn’t hear Andi and was thankful for it. The light that I had found over the course of my time out of the hospital seemed to have vanished, nowhere to be found. The only thing around me was a cloak of winding darkness and for no other reason except a dream.
It was irrational, but I wasn’t thinking; I was only feeling. And that was what was pulling me down.
In the dream, Drew had come to me. He hadn’t for a very long time, and I had thought that part of my head was straightening out, but I was wrong.
If anything, it was building to the point of combustion.
“I can’t believe you let him touch you.” Drew’s angry voice vibrated as spittle left his lips, and his body pulsed with his rage. “You let him kiss you, Reign!” he screamed¸ and I jumped back from him.
He gripped my arm so forcefully it hurt, and something I had never felt with Drew came over me: fear.
I had never seen him this enraged before.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling I needed to say something yet not knowing what to say, the confusion of the moment spinning my head. How could Drew be here and be angry with me?
“You should be sorry.” He shook me, causing my neck to snap painfully.
I cried out in pain, and Drew let me go instantly.
“I’m so sorry, Reign.” He ran his hands through his hair and paced back and forth across the floor.
I moved as far away from him as I could, afraid that he could act like that and, more, wondering how he even knew.
Guilt filled me like water in a vase, each of the curves bursting to their limits until it overflowed.
I had let Lynx touch me, and I had liked it more than I had ever thought I would. I was having real feelings for him and liked being with him, his touch, his lips.
Still, how could I just forget about Drew? How could I let all those feelings I had held for him dissipate with Lynx’s touch? What kind of person did that make me?
“And you gave him your orgasms … something you never gave me. How could you?” Drew rambled as he continued walking.
I felt the urge to comfort him, console him. “I’m—”
