Page 27 of Bound by Affliction
The door closes. “I’ve gotta head back up toSumner.”
“Somethin’ wrong?” Greenasks.
“Nah, just want to get back and check on my baby sister. I think she has a new boyfriend that I have tokill.”
Green chuckles, “You have fun withthat.”
Jacks looks over at me, concern dancing in his eyes. “How ya doin’?” he says so softly as he comes and sits by me on the couch, and I try really hard to hide myflinch.
“Good.”
“Don’t lie to the man,” Green says, coming to me. He picks me up, sits down, and sets me on his lap. I should fight it. I should tell him to take a long walk off a short pier; instead, I gather in his warmth. “She’s havin’ nightmares. Eatin’ okay but won’t wear anything other than long sleeves and pants. It’s fuckin’ Florida and hotter thanhell.”
Lifting my head up, I feel as if I’m glaring at him, but I’m not sure. It seems foreign—this feeling starting inside if me. Instead of the words tumbling out of my mouth, I lay back down as Green takes a huge deep breath like he’s disappointed and wraps his arms around my smallbody.
“Don’t let those fuckers ruin your life,” Jackssays.
Suddenly I find my voice, surprising myself in the process. “I don’t want to talk aboutthat.”
“Maybe you need to talk about it,” Green says behind me. I dash up out of his arms, feeling my skin twisting with the movements around the cuts that are healing, all the while the slime those assholes left on me sticks to meeverywhere.
“No, that’s one thing we won’t talk about.” Wrapping my arms around myself, I absently begin to pace the living room, shaking my head as I do. Talking about it makes it more real, and I’ve already lived through it; I don’t need to relive it. I don’t want to think about it or dream it or anything with it. If there was some magic pill I could find to erase it, I would. Except that isn’t an option for me. I don’t live inHarry Potterworld where a spell can change me into someone or something I’mnot.
I hear Green heave of breath before he says, “Yeah, we needto.”
“On that note, I’m outta here,” Jacks says, and before I can blink he’s gone, leaving Green and me in the room. Me pacing, him staring at me from the couch. I don’t want to hear what he has to say. I don’t want to think about it on my own; the nightmares and images are too much for me to handle. No. no.no.
“Green, I’m tired. I’m going to laydown.”
Making my way over to the bed, Green rises and blocks my way, itching up my anxiety. Not from him, but the topic I know he won’t let go. “Baby, we need to get this out. Keepin’ all this shit bottled up inside you, does no one anygood.”
“Don’t.”
His hands come to my face, mine go to his wrists. His face is so close to mine and I inhale him, sucking in his comfort. “You need to talk about it,” hewhispers.
“I can’t,” I squeeze out with all of my strength, which let’s be honest isn’tmuch.
Something flashes in his eyes. It’s not just one emotion—it’s several, and he seems to be at war withhimself.
I push, “I’ll never talk aboutit.”
Regret fills me as soon as those words slip out, because the look in his eyes turns into determination. One thing I’ve learned about Green is never give him a challenge. Never throw down a gauntlet of any type because he’ll fight back. We went back and forth over stupid things over the phone, and he wouldn’t give up. He was relentless, and what did I do? Put a red cape on and go in with a bull.Shit.
I try to speak but am stopped by him. “You will talk about this. I’m gonna push this, Leah, and you’re gonna fuckin’ hate me for it, but I’m okay with that if it helps you in theend.”
A tear fills my eyes, but not to play Green into not making me talk; no, the tears are from the pain—from the memories swirling around my head. I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to replay all of it again. My head begins shaking back and forth as nerves sparkeverywhere.
“Please,” I whisper and see a crack in Green’s demeanor for a moment only for his determination to return and seal that crack backtogether.
“When I found you, you were tied to a bed by your hands and feet.” I rip my hands away from him, wrap my arm around my waist and plop the nail of my thumb in my mouth as it all comes rushing back more vivid than the dreams. It’s almost as if I’m above looking down at what is happening to me. I can see the pain. I can see the defeat. I can see them…him.
“You had blood everywhere, Leah. It was coming out of your body so fast, I had no idea what to do to stop it all from leaving you. No one place I touched helped theother.”
Tears fall as my paces quickens, like if I move just a little bit faster this will all go away. He’ll stop talking and I can go back into my hole where I need to be. If I keep walking then I can’t talk because no person can walk and talk at the same time, right? If I keep walking all the memories will evaporate into nothing, leaving me alone. This entire conversation willend.
“Your cuts were deep, marring in so many places there wasn’t just one wound for me to stop. Black and blue,” his voice whispers, and a chill runs up my spine. “Your entire body from head to toe was black, blue or red. Your eyes were swollenshut.”
I grip my head in my hands careful not to touch my hair because it still aches. “Stop. Please just stop.” My legs are on a marathon moving so fast my toes don’t take time to dig into the carpet. If my place were bigger there wouldn’t be so many turns screwing meup.
