Page 81 of Bound by Vengeance
He’s also right that, if everyone knows, then nothing can be held over my head later in life. The Ravage MC have enemies, and there will always be that little inkling that it will open wide once again at any moment.
“I don’t know what to do,” I tell him honestly. Both ways have their positives.
“Listen to your gut, beautiful. Ravage is your family, and you know we protect our own. Will it be a shock? Fuck yeah.
Will people be pissed as hell? Fuck yeah. Will people want to kill that fucker again for what he did to you? Fuck yeah to that, too. Will they look down on you or think less of you? Fuck no. They will not see any dirt on you. They will only be there to hold you up.”
Fear grips me in its hold, threatening to suck the life out of me. This is so much for one person to handle.
I remember how blindsided I felt when Deke pulled me into the room with my father and Ryker, like a two-by-four slammed into my head. It wasn’t on my terms. It was on theirs. I can’t have that again. It needs to be on mine so I’m not smacked again with this years down the road.
I don’t know if anyone will ever find out, but I also thought I could keep my pregnancy a secret and that blew up in my face.
The thing is, as much as I don’t want to stand in front of my family and tell them, I have to be the one to do it. Strength isn’t measured in how much you can bench press. It’s measured in your actions. This will be my action. The last one for this, and then it will all be closed. I can shut the door on this part of my life and move on.
It won’t be easy, but life isn’t meant to be easy. It’s meant to challenge you and guide you. Shitty things happen to people, but it’s how you overcome them and stand on your own two feet that matters in the end.
“Okay. I want this over with.”
Ryker pulls me to his lips. The touch is light but reassuring. “Then we move on from this. You and me.”
“Yeah.”
INITIALLY, I wanted to do this at my mother’s house, thinking it would be more intimate and warm. After thinking about it long and hard, though, I didn’t want to taint my parents’ home with it. Therefore, Ryker set it up for everyone to be at the clubhouse.
Laughter rings out through the room with bottles tapping on tables. My mother isn’t doing any of that. Her gaze is completely on me, reaching into my brain and pulling out whatever it is she wants to know. Weird how moms can do that.
The children are all downstairs, and I bet if Mazie got her way, they are watching that pirate movie again.
Ryker’s arm is around my waist as I drum up the courage to speak. Sweat breaks out over my skin, and I thank God I put on extra deodorant today. Butterflies swarm in my belly, and bile threatens to escape my mouth. My thumb goes to said mouth as I begin to chew.
A hand comes up, and Ryker pulls my thumb away from my mouth. He clasps his hand with mine, intertwining our fingers.
“Ready?”
I shake my head, and as I do, my mother becomes alert, even more so than before.
“Yes, you are. Let’s do this and be done.”
Letting out a deep breath, I squeeze his hand. “Okay.”
Ryker lets out a piercing whistle, catching everyone’s attention. The room quiets.
“Austyn has something she wants to tell ya. Not a fuckin’ word from anyone,” Ryker warns, causing a smile to tip my lips.
Damn, I love this man.
As all eyes fall on me, my pulse picks up, my heart threatening to jump from my chest and run a marathon.
Ryker pulls me into his side and kisses the top of my head reassuringly.
Letting out a deep breath, I begin, “You all know I was pregnant.” My eyes veer over to Deke, who has Riley sitting next to him, holding her hand, with Emery on his other. His focus is on me.
Emery gives me a small smile. The bandages on her arm and neck freeze me in place for a moment. It pisses me off that he touched her, but it could’ve been a lot worse. I’m thankful it wasn’t.
Sucking in a deep breath, I focus.
“I’m just going to blurt this out and get it done with. JK was the father of the baby.”
