Page 80 of Bound by Vengeance
Turning her in my arms, I find her entire face is red with splotches, wetness coats her cheeks, and her eyes are puffy red.
Pain is everywhere. In her eyes, posture, and her soul.
“You are not dirty. Not one fuckin’ thing about you is dirty.”
“I can’t get clean,” she whispers, her eyes calling to me, tugging at my heart.
Rubbing her arm up and down, I tell her, “You are clean. What they did to you is on them. It makes them dirty, sick fuckers.
It makes them unworthy to breathe air. You, you’re not any of that. It wasn’t your choice. They did those things to you without your consent. Nothing about this is dirty for you.”
Everything inside me aches for Austyn. It’s as if, with each word, she’s yanking out pieces of her heart and soul and throwing them on the ground. Then I come along and pick them up, putting them back where they need to go.
She’s broken and cracked from what those men did to her. It makes me want to kill the fucker myself and add in some serious pain. She did that, though. She took care of the problem, making it so he’s no longer a threat.
“I want to believe that, Ryker. It’s why I didn’t want to tell you.” She shakes her head as more tears stream down her face and onto the pillow below.
I cup the side of her face, brushing some hair away from her eyes. “I understand, but babe, I’m all in with you. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Whatever life slams us in the face with, I’m by your side. But I fuckin’ swear to you, nothing like this will ever happen to you again. I’ll protect you until my dyin’ breath.”
She grips me hard, pressing her face into my chest as her body racks with sobs once again.
“How’d you get away?” I ask softly, wanting the rest of the story, but not wanting to upset her even more.
“That’s the thing; after he looked in my wallet and got my name, he threatened me, saying he would come back and do it again if I opened my mouth. Then he said something about the younger girls in Ravage, which I would never let happen. Then he just pushed me into a car, and the next thing I remember, I was in my car, sitting in the parking lot at the bar.”
That fucking dickhead did so much more damage than any of us thought. He tore this woman to shreds, but he will not win.
The Austyn I’ve been with the past few weeks is the woman she’s meant to be—happy, loved, and laughing.
That’s where we’ll get back to. I fuckin’ swear it.
C H A P T E R T W E N T Y-S I X
I didn’t think a human could cry so many tears. There should be no more water inside my body, considering it’s all over Ryker and the bed below us.
His warmth surrounds me, allowing me to feel safe and protected. This man, whom I’ve loved for so damn long, sees past all the shit I just laid out on him and told me he was all in.
That’s all I have. There are no more secrets. There is no more holding back. It’s all released and floating off my shoulders into thin air. He knows the secrets I’ve been trying to hold close to me, and even though he’s heard it, he still wants to be with me.
Maybe he’s right and I’m not as dirty as I thought. Or, is this just a Band-Aid covering up the grime? I wish I knew the answer.
There is nothing now holding me back from loving Ryker the way he deserves. There is nothing restricting how I act or feel toward him. There is nothing but him and me, and that’s all that matters. I feel it in my soul. He is my soul; has been for years.
He’s just confirmed I’m his.
My mother always told me that when the one came, it would hit me hard and fast. What she didn’t tell me is the journey I’d have to go on to find my happiness. After all this clears and the pain of it all dissipates, I hope my happiness with Ryker will be staring me in the face.
I have a feeling it will.
“Do you want the club to know?” Ryker breaks the peaceful silence, knocking the wind out of me.
My body trembles as the panic sets in. “I …”
I feel Ryker’s fingertips under my chin. He lifts it so our gazes connect. “You don’t want to, that’s fine. My lips are sealed until my dyin’ breath. But beautiful, you get this all out in the open, there’s nothin’ holdin’ you back. There’s no question if anyone ever finds out later in life and it blows up, openin’ old wounds. It’s done and over with, and you can move past it all.”
More fucking tears. Everything inside me coils up like a spring ready to snap at any given moment. I rub my feet together rhythmically, wanting to get up and walk, while I fight the urge to stick my thumb in my mouth.
He’s right in some ways, but wrong in others. The weight that lifted when Ryker accepted me for who I am is priceless. On the other hand, people may see me as the dirty girl I thought myself to be for so long. The pity will come back, and I don’t know if I can deal with that.
