Page 58 of Bound by Vengeance
My heart and head battle it out.
Ryker’s lips come to mine. This kiss penetrates the walls, shining light into the hole my heart has felt since everything came down on me. It fills the empty and shines bright. I want this. I need this. I need him to show me it’s not painful and it doesn’t have to shred my insides. Just for one night.
He penetrates my stare, and I get lost in his brown depths as they suck me in. He’s giving me everything I’ve ever wanted.
“Yes.”
Ryker’s smile turns his serious face into one that makes women swoon, including me.
He pulls my hand, leading me into the apartment. “I’ll order delivery. We’ll eat, and I owe you a back rub.”
Panic slams me hard. This is going to hurt.
We eat in front of the television like we’ve done so many times before, but this time there is a thick tension in the air that’s hanging over us like a cloud. Nerves rattle me from every part of my body, from the tips of my fingers to my toes.
A woman my age shouldn’t fear sex. She should enjoy it. Relish in it. Unfortunately, my introduction to it was horrible.
What if I’m bad in bed? What if I don’t do things right? I’ve watched porn, don’t get me wrong, but that’s nothing on doing it for real. Because, who am I kidding? If it’s just Ryker and me, there will be touching. There will be sex. I’ve felt his hard erection on my back, waking up to it more times than I can count. He wants it, and deep inside, I do too.
Ryker takes my plate from me then heads to the kitchen. When he comes back, I’m a big ball of nerves, like I’m sixteen again, trying to get this man’s attention. Now I have it, fully, and I’m scared.
He sits next to me, while I twist my hands as the heat from anxiety rushes through me.
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”
Ryker reaches over and pulls me to him, negating the gap we kept while we ate, and wraps his arm around me. “Just relax, Austyn.”
Easy for him to say. He’s done this …
I stop myself from those thoughts. I don’t want to know that.
As we watch television, my body relaxes into him. He repositions us then begins to massage my feet. It feels so damn good, losing me in the sensations. The kneading and rubbing gets kinks out I didn’t know were there.
“Lie on your stomach.”
I do as he says. His hands begin to do magical things. The strength in them is amazing, but it’s the tenderness that warms my heart.
Forgetting about the television, I close my eyes and enjoy the feel of his hands on me.
My shoulder.
My upper back.
My lower back.
My legs.
My arms.
Every part of me he touches caressingly, lovingly. Then he goes to my scalp, and I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven.
Whatever tension was there dissipates. A moan escapes, and I hear his chuckle rumble. Minutes, hours, days—I have no recollection of how long I’ve lain in this spot with this man touching everywhere on my body.
Ryker kneels in front of the couch, my head pointed toward him as my eyes flutter open. He’s gorgeous, there is no mistaking it. It’s what’s in his eyes, though, that sends my heart into a tizzy. Compassion, understanding, caring, and yes—love.
It hits hard, and he must see it on my face because he leans over and attaches his lips to mine.
The kiss becomes a passionate molding of two bodies as he lifts me. I straddle his lap on the floor as runs his hand through my hair before gripping it, but not painfully, more like guiding my head where he wants it. His lips are soft, yet they have a rough edge to them. Add in the friction of his beard on my face and it’s a heady mixture.
