Page 57 of Bound by Vengeance
She softens, her body swaying toward me. Taking full advantage, I grab the back of her neck and pull her to me in a searing kiss. She gives, and I take. I give, and she takes in a dance that makes the air around us electrify.
A cough comes, and Austyn pulls away. I glare again at the motherfucking instructor. He pales.
“My next group is here.”
“Good, because we’re leaving.”
Austyn chuckles as we get out of our contraptions, obviously feeling my tension and the need to pound something.
We leave in a rush through the doors and out to my bike, our hands clasped together. Pulling her around to my front, I land my lips on hers once more. This time, she’s more hesitant, but gives in. Her lips are so damn soft.
When we break, it isn’t because of some asshole; it’s because we can’t breathe and need oxygen.
“Guess I got my kiss,” she jokes.
“Many more where that came from.”
Her eyes close, and pain laces through them when she opens them again. She’s putting the walls back up. Not willing to let her, I kiss her again. I don’t give her a moment to think after. Instead, I pull her to the bike, and then we take off like a shot, her arms around my waist, holding on tight. This is where she needs to be.
When I get her home, I’ll show her exactly how good we are together.
C H A P T E R E I G H T E E N
My heart races as the bike speeds down the road. Holding on to Ryker is amazing and more than I ever dreamed it could be.
His body is so hard, and I can feel each of his muscles when I flex my fingers. I swear I feel him shiver, but it must just be the bike.
This is all my fantasies wrapped in a sexy package, and when he kissed me, it was the cherry on top of the sundae. His lips are magnificent. Not that I have much experience with lips or kissing, for that matter, but his are perfect.
There’s so much in a kiss. The connection between two people, allowing the passion to take over, even just for a moment.
Letting the feelings you want to say express themselves through a kiss when you know you can’t. I poured my heart into each of them earlier, not letting the past interfere.
Now, as we pull up to the apartment, it’s like we’re back in the real world and everything before lays shattered at my feet.
I’m still the girl with dirt and grime covering my body inside and out, with secrets she doesn’t want anyone to know. I’m still the girl who wants revenge on the man who made me this way. I’m still the girl who’s loved the man I’m holding on to for so long that it physically hurts that I can’t have him.
Maybe I can pretend that everything is great for a while. That my life isn’t a big pile of shit on a cracker. That I was never touched or had to terminate my pregnancy. That I was never captured the second time and made to bleed. If I could pretend all those things didn’t happen, then maybe I can give this a shot with him.
A hollow feeling comes over me like a black veil of misery. All that is just stupid. There is no pretending a life I want. It will just be too hard to survive once it all falls at my feet, because it will. The dirt on me will make it so.
The only man who knows of the true dirt that’s on me is JK. If he would come out of his rabbit hole so I could find him, then maybe, maybe once he’s gone and the threat of anyone knowing my past has evaporated, I could have the life I crave. Or maybe those are just dreams I don’t deserve to have.
If I could eliminate him, destroy him, he wouldn’t be able to tell my past. I hate being such a conflicted, fucked-up mess.
When the bike stops, I climb off, getting my legs in order quickly. Ryker follows as I start to make my way back into the apartment. Before I can get there, though, he pulls me to him, our bodies so close I feel him everywhere.
“Just for tonight, it’s all gone. There’s nothing but you and me in this world. There are no pasts. There are no expectations.
There is only this—what we feel for one another. All the other bullshit is gone, vanished. Only we exist.”
My heart thumps so hard I’m sure he can feel it against his chest, pumping away. This sounds magnificent. Perfect. To just forget about everything. To live in the moment. Live in the now with Ryker. To experience something with him that I never have before. I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t think it was going to end up in bed together if we gave in.
Can I hack that? Leave the feelings aside after the daylight comes again? Go on about our lives like the night never happened?
No, I can’t. It will hurt. It will kill. But it will be everything. Something I may never get again in my life.
It’s stupid and careless. Reckless and destined to hurt me more than I already am.
