Page 62 of A Certain Step
“The public in general, really. I’m pretty private when it comes to my personal life on social media, you know that. I post here and there, but I’m not as active when it comes to my private life, nor am I as known as you are, thankfully. I like it that way. But you’ve been around much longer. And I know how you’re going to counter all this because I know you, but I don’t think I have the willpower to be called a gold-digger or a leech. I know you understand my hesitations and fears to a degree, but I can’t stand claims that I’m using you and God knows what else. I’m too damn anxious and insecure. I realize I chose the wrong career, but alas...”
His eyes went wide. None of this would’ve ever crossed his mind, but he could see where Willa was coming from. He hated it but understood it, nonetheless. His fans could be hostile at times, and he wasn’t sure how to handle that either, advised by his publicist to ignore it as often as possible.
“The ones who’d talk would talk no matter who you were. A bunch of people would love it, and a select few would loathe it. There’s no rhyme or reason. I am sorry about that, and I wish I could control it. But please don’t let that be a reason we stop ourselves from trying.Please.We can keep it as private as you want. We hang out often anyway. It wouldn’t look any differently to those who don’t know us, no matter how closely they pay attention. All of this—we’ll…we’ll figure it out.”
She took a breath, a sadness he couldn’t place making its way into her eyes again. “I know. I do. I’m just scared. Please don’t break my heart,” she begged, and at those very words, the pain in her voice, the fear in her eyes, his heart sank. He knew exactly what she meant by it, too.
He lifted his hand and pressed it to her cheek. “I’d demolish my own if I ever hurt you. You’re safe with me, Willa. I promise.”
“Can we keep it between us for now?” she asked.
“Yeah, but you’re going to tell Sahar, aren’t you? Isn’t that a girl code thing?”
The question made her chuckle. “Yeah, that’s true, not a girl code, but I’m also sure she already knows what’s happening. Now that I think of it, Christian probably does, too, but I guess, just…not everyone? Not yet, at least?”
“If that’s what you want,” he replied, thinking through the next question he wanted to ask, hoping and praying that it wouldn’t come off wrong. “What are you comfortable with?”
“What do you mean?”
“In terms of intimacy. I’m not talking about sex but other things. I know performing is different, but can I kiss you when we’re alone?”
Her dimpled smile was so perfect that it shattered him.
“You better kiss me,” Willa declared, inching closer.
He could feel the canyon carved by her doubts slowly shrinking. Lips to lips, thighs to thighs, whatever came from her willingness to fill the space between them, Ethan Everett knew that he was about to become the happiest man in the world.
20
WILLA
Willa’s heart raced. Ethan cupped her face, his eyes illuminating with a gleam she hadn’t seen before. The heavy tethers holding her together snapped one by one—restraint, hesitation, doubt, and uncertainty. For a moment, nothing mattered the way Ethan did. Or, rather, that was always the case, and she was brave enough to admit to it now.
There was plenty of time to play back the poetic promises he made—to perhaps question and sit with the dread of how it could all fall to pieces. That was the kind of self-deprecation her brain held a master’s degree in. But right now, inches apart, all she wanted to do was press her lips to his. To kiss him, not as Elizabeth, but as Willa. His touch against her cheek burned through her. She blinked, once, twice, drew forward, and rested her forehead against his.
“We’re really doing this?” she asked.
The brilliance in his smile could ignite the entirety of New York City.
“Yeah, beautiful, we are,” he confirmed, his voice unbearably tender and affirmative.
And then his lips were on hers, languid and gentle, parting and pulling with a softness she could blanket herself in.
His kisses were tormentingly dazzling in the frenzied fury of their earlier performance, delicious even, now that she was being truthful with herself. But this—this dance was theirs and theirs alone. He was utterly in tune with her body, so methodic in his attention that it enraptured her.
Keeping her body upright would’ve required enormous effort if they hadn’t been sitting. She would’ve melted. She was already halfway there, stunned by the fact that kissing someone could feel like this.
He wordlessly asked for permission, undoubtedly wanting more but leaving the decision in her hands. Willa boldly darted her tongue in response, swapping tender tugs for more hunger and heat. A low groan reverberated from somewhere deep inside his throat, pleasing her to no end with the knowledge that she had been the one to elicit it.
She bit his lower lip, pulling another satisfied sound out from him. Willa draped her legs over his, and he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, squeezing her closer to him. She could feel what she was doing to him, the substantial proof of his desires, dizzying and gloriously intoxicating.
Ethan’s mouth moved against her with more fire, and he quickened his pace while still maintaining respectable boundaries—too many if he asked her. She didn’t need him sticking to just her lips. She wanted,neededhim elsewhere. Her own feverish longings were now addicting. His fingers trailed to her hair, down to her shoulder, back up toward her neck and jaw.
She’d never had a first kiss like this before. Scratch that, she’d never hadanykiss like this before.
She’d never felt this safe and revered in every way.
They parted for a beat, breathless and flushed, foreheads pressed against one another. He stole another quick kiss, prompting Willa to giggle. His eyes held her, impossibly overwhelming and gorgeously warm.
