Page 98 of A Certain Step
“I know you know how much all the attention makes me uncomfortable. The times I want to crawl into a hole because it’s too much, and I start to feel like I’m losing my humanity,” he said.
She stroked his jaw with delicate caresses, cementing her understanding.
“But you’ve made so much of it easier for me. You know my tells. You read me like an open book. You let me be fragile and uncertain. You celebrate my victories with me.”
He sighed heavily. “I knew I loved you when I broke down in your arms after my grandpa died, and you carried me through those days. You never once looked at me differently. When you stayed awake with me all night and then metaphorically held me upright the next day. We were friends then, but you became my anchor, and I want to be that strength for you, Wills—however you need me to. If you need to be alone, or if you need space, all of it, whatever it is, I’ll support you.”
“You’re my anchor, too. Please don’t think you aren’t. I meant it when I said you’re the person I search for in a crowded room. I don’t blame you one bit, Ethan. You’re worth this, ten times over. Once the shock wears off, I’ll be okay.”
She drew her lips to his cheek and kissed him there. “At some point, the words aren’t going to matter. I know that. It’ll be noise, blurring in the background while we live our lives doing what we love most. I get to have all your smiles and your heart. I’m not letting you go, no matter how crushing the unkindness feels right now.”
He smiled faintly and kissed her. They stayed like that for a while, lounged on his kitchen floor, mouths pressed together, hands, teeth, and tongues, taking each other in while the rest of the world raged on.
It was quiet here, silence stretching out before them, creating a safe space.
32
WILLA
Willa walked through her door and threw herself onto the sofa next to Sahar.The Golden Girlswas again playing on the TV while Sahar was playing a game on her Switch.
Sahar looked up. “How are you feeling?”
“Better, but like shit,” Willa mumbled.
Sahar drew closer and squeezed her shoulders. “I had to put my phone down because I was ready to curse everyone out. Christian had to call and warn me against it.”
Willa grumbled, laying her head back against the cushion. She slid lower on the sofa. “Everything was so perfect last night, and then this happened.”
“Are things okay with you and Ethan?”
Willa nodded. “Yeah. He wants to say something and talked to his manager. I told him I trust him with whatever it is.”
Sahar smiled. “If you had to go through something as shitty as this, I’m glad it’s with someone like Ethan. Those voices will dim at some point. I also do have a bit of news for you that’d make you happy?” she questioned.
Willa narrowed her gaze. “Go on…”
“I dumped the prick,” Sahar said matter-of-factly.
Willa nearly jolted and sat upright. “What?”
Sahar clicked her tongue. “Yup. Man, something about watching Sam and Priya perform. I called him over. I didn’t want to be an arsehole and do it over the phone, but he refused to come. Said he was lazy. Told me to come. So I just dumped him.”
“What’d he say?”
Sahar belted out a laugh. “He called me a selfish whore and hung up.”
Willa’s eyes grew wide. She’d wring his neck in if she ever ran into him. “Are you kidding me?”
“Nope.”
Willa huffed. “We need to toast being called whores on the same night.”
Sahar brought her pinky to Willa’s. She took it. “Wouldn’t want to be a whore with anyone else but you.”
“Cheers, sister,” Willa started, then paused. “I really want coffee from Amanda’s. And a guava cheese strudel. Want to come with me?” she asked.
Sahar sat upright. “I don’t even like strudel, but I do weirdly want one. Let’s do it.”
