Page 45 of Dear Santa, Send Me a Cowboy
“I just want to bring him home,” I mumbled under my breath, trying desperately not to cry.
His hold on my thigh tightened, drawing my focus back to him.
“We’ll bring him back home, Diana. Safe and sound, I fuckin’ swear it.”
My heart swelled immensely as I gave him a choked-up nod, desperately clinging on to the last remnants of strength I had within me.
The remainder of the drive was spent in silence, but the second Lawson pulled his truck into the movie theater parking lot, I became a whirlwind of frantic breaths and anxious energy.
“Let me out here!” I undid my buckle as the truck came to a stop at the front of the building.
“I’ll be in right after I park, okay?” His words barely registered as all I could focus on was finding my son. I gave him a quick nod before hopping out and hauling ass through the front door of the theater.
My panicked eyes went everywhere. From left to right, I took in all my surroundings with the intensity of a wild woman. And when my frantic stare scanned over the tiny arcade shoved into the corner of the building, I captured a flash of messy dark hair.
A tight knot of instinct coiled in my gut, and before I knew it, I was running in that direction.
“Silvan!” I shouted, my voice cutting through the crowds of moviegoers, not caring that all curious eyes were now on me.
As I approached, his head spun around as his confused gaze took me in.
“Mom?” He stood up from the seat of the driving game he was playing and moved toward me. The second he was in reaching distance, I threw my arms around his shoulders and pulled him in close. “What… What are you doing here?”
Profound relief overcame me as all my senses took in this moment. It was as if my heart had found the strength to beat again, free from the weight of pain and sorrow. I held him to me like he might fade away. Tighter and tighter I squeezed, inhaling his familiar scent that had lingered since childhood.
“God, baby, what were you thinking? Your dad called saying he couldn’t find you this morning…” As I pulled back from our hug, I palmed each side of his face with my hands. “Jesus, Silvan, you had me worried sick…”
Staring into those innocent brown eyes, I felt on the verge of tears again.
“Mom, I’m okay, I swear. I just… I couldn’t stay in that house with him any longer. He promised it would just be the two of us. He made me believe that he actually wanted to get to know me?—”
“What did he do?” I interrupted. My maternal instincts flaring almost immediately.
His bottom lip wobbled despite how strongly he was trying to be tough.
“He’s a liar and I was stupid for thinking that he might have changed.”
I was going to kill Jaxon.
Anger washed over me like a tidal wave. Anger for trusting him with our son and anger for being foolish enough to let him try and redeem himself for the hundredth time.
All he ever did was let Silvan down and this time, he had gone way too far.
“Look at me, Silvan. You aren’t stupid. So, please don’t ever think that. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to meand if your father can’t see how truly amazing you are, then he doesn’t deserve to know you.”
As I gazed into his baby blue eyes, I tried expressing to him that I would always be here for him. That I would never let him down, and with the slight wobble of his lip, I knew he needed to hear those words.
“Why didn’t you call me? I would have come and picked you up.”
He shrugged his shoulders.
“You deserved a night to yourself and I didn’t want to take that away from you.”
Well, there goes my heart again.
Without a second thought, I yanked him toward me into another hug. “Silvan, please don’t ever think that you can’t call me. No matter what the situation is. I’d always… always rather be with you.”
He didn’t respond with words, but his arms tightened around me in acknowledgment. For a good few minutes we just held each other.
