Page 66 of Losing Sleep
Ruby took one look at our guest and returned to the couch, not interested. Now I stood alone, in front of the man I’d thought I loved, who had betrayed me more than anyone else in my life, and I felt nothing but mild surprise. Not hurt or anger or shock. All the emotions that I’d thought would come with a run-in with Lyle were absent. Here was the man I’d thought I would marry, and at the moment I wished he was someone else: a bearded man with sexy arms and an average body who had a tendency to talk too much but who also had a remarkable ability to help me be brave.
My fingers reached up, finding the now familiar necklace where it rested against my skin. I’d been touching it all day, as if doing so could connect me to the man who had given it to me.
“After everything you’ve put me through, I don’t think you deserve a hello,” I said, crossing my arms in front of my chest, channeling the same brave Audrey who had told Drew off.
“Can I at least come in? We have things to talk about, and I really—”
I held up a hand, the same strength that had convinced me to quit filling my voice now. “If I’m not going to tell you hello, why on earth would I invite you into my home? You’re lucky I haven’t slammed the door in your face.”
Lyle winced. “I guess I deserve that. It’s just…this isn’t exactly how I pictured this conversation going.”
I glanced around the breezeway, taking in the cement hallway broken up by maroon doors. “Funny, I have no idea what this conversation is, so I can’t tell you where I pictured it happening. Maybe you can start talking, and I’ll let you know if the venue lives up to expectations.”
If I had my way, I would never have another conversation with Lyle. Unfortunately, it was too late for that wish to come true.
Lyle paused for a moment, watching to see if I was serious. When I waved a hand, gesturing for him to continue, he spoke.
“Audrey, I wasn’t fair to you, and I recognize that. The way I treated you was unacceptable. This week has been”—he swallowed before continuing—“hard. I thought I was marrying the love of my life. But then Emily called off the wedding, and I was shattered. Everyone kept telling me I’d get through this. I’d figure it out. And that’s when I realized the one person I wanted by my side who could help me through, help me figure things out, wasn’t Emily. It was you.”
With his last words, Lyle looked me straight in the eye, earnestness filling his expression.
I waited, certain this had to be a cruel prank. There had to be a punch line because there was no way my ex, the man who shattered my heart and trust by cheating on me with my best friend, was begging me to come back. When Lyle didn’t so much as crack a smile, I had to bite down a bitter laugh.
“Excuse me? We haven’t talked to each other in over a year. I found you making out with my best friend! And you think you can just walk over here and feed me some line about how you ‘missed me’ and I’ll, what? Fall into your arms? Declare my undying love for you? Take you back?” I winced, realizing that not too long ago, I might have done exactly that. I had been waiting for life to reset, to go back to the safety and security I had felt as Lyle’s girlfriend. A security I’d been searching for since I was a kid with a dreamer for a mom. But my mom, with all her flighty tendency, had taken risks and found her safe place to land. It was my turn to do the same.
“No. I just thought that, maybe if I explained, we could—”
I held up a hand, cutting him off. Excitement burned in my chest at the realization that the life Lyle had offered was never the life for me. I was forging a new life, one I was actually meant for.
“Lyle, you are a jerk. You’re a manipulative pretty-boy who’s used to women falling at your feet if you just smile, and I’m done. There is no ‘we.’ There is no ‘us.’ There is no ‘Lyle and Audrey against the world.’ You broke my heart, and I’m better for it because now I see that I deserve more. I wish you luck. Actually, scratch that. I don’t wish you anything but the life you deserve. Now, get off my doorstep, and never come back.” I stepped inside the apartment and closed the door, satisfied at the look of complete and utter shock etched on Lyle’s face.
I leaned against the door, processing what had just happened. I expected to feel a small bit of loss, considering that I’d just slammed the door closed on ever getting my life with Lyle back, but instead I felt excitement. In one day, I’d quit my job and told Lyle off. What else was I brave enough to do? My fingers toyed with the necklace at my throat. I couldn’t wait to find out.
Chapter Thirty-Five
I waited until morningto text Tory, though my fingers itched to do it sooner. I’d spent the night pacing and pondering my options, and now, I had a plan. It was crazy and ridiculous, but if I played my cards right, it might just be worth it.
I might also end up with my heart shattered into a million pieces, but what was life without a little risk?
TORY:You’re up early. What’s up? P.S. I missed you the rest of the trip. It wasn’t the same without you, Alex, and Brad.
ME:Would you believe me if I told you I needed to leave? I realized something huge coming home, and I don’t think it would have happened if I had stayed.
TORY:If your realization is that you’re falling in love with Grey, I know. I’m pretty sure all of Idaho knows at this point.
ME:Way to steal my thunder! But yes, that’s part of it. I messed up, and I’m pretty sure I’m the last person he wants to see right now.
TORY:What are you going to do to fix that?
I laid out my plan, hoping and praying it would work. If I played my cards right, I would be confessing my feelings to Grey before the end of the week.
“Will you hold still? We’re almost to the trailhead.” Tory reached over and placed a hand on my knee, attempting to stop it from bouncing.
We were driving to the start of the Grove Creek Canyon trail under the pretense of a group hike. Tory had coordinated the whole thing, ensuring Grey would be there. What he didn’t know was that, besides me and Tory, no one else was coming. In fact, the plan was for Tory to drop me off and for her to drive a couple of blocks away, giving Grey and me space to talk. I’d asked her to drive for fear that, if it was up to me, I’d bail and drive home to the safety of my cooking shows and dog.
It also gave Tory a much-needed distraction. Only hours after I’d texted her to coordinate this plan, Trent had asked her to meet up. She’d accepted, expecting their usual dinner date. Instead, Trent had dumped her, refusing to “play second fiddle” to the other men in her life. A ridiculous assertion, based on the number of times I’d seen her over the weekend actively distancing herself from Brad to make Trent happy.
Tory had driven to my apartment immediately after, and we’d spent the night eating ice cream and talking about how Tory deserved so much more than Trent and his inability to express emotions. Before Tory had left, I’d offered to reschedule ourplans. But she’d assured me having something else to focus on would do her good.
