Page 88 of Firedrake Betrayal
“Wait! I just want to know why.”
Maybe his confusion is so genuine that it compels me to stop. It certainly isn’t because I want to keep talking to him.
But I turn around again. “I don’t have an answer for you.” Because I don’t know what this feeling is. I care about Shep, Patten, and Isaiah, but like is too tame of a word. I’m not sure what the right word is. “They saved me from something.”
“And that’s why? They saved you?”
It’s clear where he’s going to go with this. I bet the next words out of his mouth are that he saved me, so why don’t I have those feelings for him?
I give him more of an explanation than I’d intended.
“At the time I didn’t want saving. It was later. They just… see me, I guess. They see the parts of me I don’t think are anything but ordinary, but they think I’m more, and I see parts of them that make me care about them.”
“The handsome parts?”
My molars grind together. “You’re not listening.”
“Iamlistening.”
“Then you would hear that what I’m saying is this isn’t just about how we look. Yes, I think they are handsome. They think I’m beautiful when I’m not, but I’m glad they do. And there’s more. I can talk to them, and they talk to me. We laugh. But it’s… that’s not all of it. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”
I’m aware I’ve rambled far longer than I should have, that Isaiah must have woken from his nap and be wondering what the hell I’m saying. But it feels good to get some of those feelings out.
“You are,” Dominik says, confusing me.
“I’m what?”
“Beautiful.”
I back up. His expression hasn’t changed, but I don’t need this confusion when all I need and want from Dominik is to be a good co-parent. That’s it.
No more.
“It won’t last.”
There it is again. That ability he has of saying things that make me crazy.
And angry.
I glare at him. “What does it have to do with you? Do you think that if things don’t work out, then I’ll go running to you? You forced a bond on me without my consent. At no point have you shown the slightest inclination that you’re sorry about it. You just expect me to forgive, accept, and move on.No.”
“I—”
“I preferred you when I thought you were feral. You know that?”
Surprise flickers across his face.
“In the compound, you actually seemed to care. Out here—” I sweep my arm around. “You only care about you.”
He takes a step toward me. “That isn’t true.”
I immediately back up, my hand flying up to keep him at a distance. “Don’t touch me.”
“Because you don’t like my touch? Or because you’re still attracted to me?”
Both.
I don’t say a word, but his expression subtly shifts. He suddenly looks more confident than he did before, shoulders lifting, and the line between his brow smoothing. “You liked my touch in the compound, and you still like it.”
