Page 51 of Skating the Blue Line
Now all I can think about is that fact that that night that started it all might bring a new life into the world and I have no idea who the hell to feel about it.
Do I want her to keep the baby? Do I want the opposite?
With all the honesty that I have, I don’t know the answer to either question.
So many things are up in the air with it, that my emotions and thoughts are all jumbled up.
When we get to Chloe’s apartment, I walk up with her, not wanting her to be alone. It’s when we reach her door that she finally breaks the silence.
“I haven’t decided anything yet but are you okay if I take a few days to think about things and if anything, I can call you?” She asks, fidgeting with her fingers as she does.
I give her a nod. “Take all the time that you need. I’m not going to go anywhere.”
Chloe closes the distance between us, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“Thank you, Liam,” She whispers, her words followed by a sniffle.
“Don’t cry. We will figure it out. Whatever decision is made, we will figure it out. Together.” I say, wrapping my arms around her for the second time tonight.
She nods her head against my chest and pulls away quickly after.
Chloe surprises me when she leans up and places a kiss on my cheek before giving me a quiet bye and walking into her apartment.
On the drive home, all I’m left with is my thoughts.
Thoughts of what it would be like if Chloe and I went through this. Thoughts of how our lives would look like, how we would both look like in a few years time.
Thoughts of If we chose to do this, would the baby have her curls and eyes? Or would they look like me?
Thought after thought starts flowing in and I just let them.
Even if they are absolutely dangerous with everything up in the air.
But that doesn’t stop me from thinking about them.
13
CHLOE
I’mninety-seven percent sure that I’ve figured out what I want to do.
For the past week, I’ve been thinking about every single thing, coming up with every scenario that I could to help me make any decision that I could.
I tried to go through life as if nothing had changed and I wasn’t fighting with myself to make the biggest decision of my life. For the most part I was able to but whenever I wasn’t busy, more thoughts and scenarios popped up.
Liam checked in on me. So did Betty. Both of them asked if I needed anything, including company. As much as I wanted to take up both of them in their offers, I wanted to be alone.
I did occasionally text Liam here and there asking him questions like I did the night of the hockey game. Even though I wanted to be alone, I did want to include Liam in the decision making.
Me being pregnant not only affected my life, it also affected his.
Even though he told me it was my choice, it feels wrong not including him.
So I did.
Now, a whole week later, I’m ninety-seven percent sure I made my decision.
I’m not one hundred percent because there is still some doubt getting sprinkled in.
