Page 46 of His Gift
"Now you're asking me to change my core being, my gift. I'll try to mellow that too… a bit."
She pushes my head back on her chest, and I go willingly.
"You know, you're much cuter when you're not saying anything. But okay, a bit would already be a huge leap for you." It would. Since I got control of my life, I haven't been able to give it up. I'll try for her, even though I'm pretty sure she likes my bossy nature more than she's willing to admit. As far as I don't boss her around as I did at the start. Fuck. Back to it, like the tongue on an aching tooth.
"You have ways to keep me silent, you know, sweet girl."
"Oh. And what are they?" I raise my head and smile. I need this more than my next breath.
"You could kiss me."
"I could." Sassy little thing.
"What do I have to do to make it happen? Because I really, really want to kiss you right now, cruel girl."
"Make up your mind, Conrad. Am I sweet or am I cruel?" Smiling, teasing, a twinkle in her eyes. Mesmerizing. And irresistible. I lean in, cup her face and crash my lips on hers. They are parted. Her tongue caresses mine and a jolt of electricity runs down my spine. I deepen the kiss and she matches my efforts, a little moan escaping from her now and then.
"I need more, Harper."
"I mean… me too, but…"
"I didn't mean that… Lie, I always mean that, but… I've told you everything you wanted to know about me. Please tell me something about yourself you never told me before. Why were you writing your journal as if you were speaking to me?"
She caresses my cheek and stares at me with her blue, soulful eyes.
"It's a big deal for me, Conrad. But you're right. When I woke up in your arms… after you kidnapped me… it was the first time in a very long time someone was hugging me like that. Like I was…" her voice breaks for a second but she shakes her head when I try to get closer. "No, please let me finish. Like I was important. And yes, I still didn't remember all the shit that went down—what my uncle and my mother did—but it felt like… being in the right place. For the very first time. And…" she blushes and I have to make a real effort to stay still and let her do this as she wants to. "And you know I always used to… do a little self-care before bed. It didn't start until I got a place of my own. But it was my way of… making myself feel important. My way of putting myself first. And when you did exactly that… when you put me first over and over… If only you hadn't… No, no, stop. I know. I heard you before, in your car. You finally got it. But it still hurts that the first person to—"
"Love you. The first person to love you, Harper. I can go round and round as much as I want, but I have invented nothing. I've just discovered it. And I'm sofucking—"
"No! I don't want sorry. I wanted you to understand. And I need time. I shouldn't have run. We should have had this conversation a long time ago, but maybe everything that happened was needed. I went to therapy, you had time to think and make sure…"
"What? If I really want you? I really fucking do."
"Okay, then. I'm… I'm all talked out. Please, can we…"
"Yes. Yes. We have to go to rehab." I kiss her on her forehead and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear before I'm able to get up and give her what she wants: time. And respect for what she said.
thirty-five
Harper
I'm so pumped when I get out of rehab, and there's only one person I want to share the good news with. Of course, he's waiting for me outside.
"Hey, what's with the single crutch?"
"I've been promoted back to the cane! And they said I can walk without it when I'm at home. If it keeps going this well, I'll be walking with no aid in a fewdays, a week at the most!" I throw my arms around his neck, letting go of the crutch, and he drags me up and makes me twirl.
"That's amazing news, my gift."
"It is!" I raise my head and kiss him. "What's this taste?" Conrad blushes and puts me down, picking up the crutch and making sure I'm stable on my legs before showing me what he has in his hand. "A lollipop?" I smirk.
"Needed something sweet. But if I'd known I'd get a kiss, I would have waited."
"Hmm, I like that you taste like strawberries and sugar."
"Want more?" His boyish grin makes me smile.
"Maybe. Later. Jasper sent me a message. He doesn't need me tomorrow—he'll be in court all day and there are no other appointments—but he'd like to have a quick chat today. He's waiting for me at the office. If you want to go home, I can take a cab…"
