Page 44 of His Gift
"And?"
"And no sex until we know it will work." She's made me so happy saying she wrote the diary as if she was talking to me that I might… No, let's be honest, I won't be reasonable. But I'll tell her how much I appreciate what she said and how happy I am I didn't read her journal without her consent. Later.
"It's a nonstarter, Harper. No sex until you're healed. And that's not what you set out to say. You always look away when you feel exposed."
"See? You're a dictator. I'll decide when I'm healed. And I'm not ready to say what I was about to say."
"The doctor will decide it. And yes, I like to have control. And I like to make you come. Complaints? No? Then…" I dip my head again and this time she kisses me. A quick peck. She's doing it on purpose. She's smirking at me. And that's an amazing view. "We have to ratify the deal, cruel girl."
"It was no deal. It was you dictating the terms of my surrender."
"Potato, potahto. You've surrendered."
"Don't be so sure. I'm calling a truce."
"Truce. It has to be ratified too. If you don't, I might get new ideas to add—"
And she fucking finally kisses me. With her hands in my hair and her tongue caressing mine. Yeah, it will stay in my pants, but it will hurt like hell. At least we seem to have come to some sort of agreement. And I planon kissing her for a long time. And feed her immediately after. And then kiss her again.
thirty-three
Harper
"What's wrong with my apartment?"
I shouldn't have started this argument outside my office, even if we are in Conrad's car. I shouldn't be going to the office today, but I needed to re-establish my routine, to get things back on track after the hurricane of his reappearance and mysurgery.
For a moment, I expect Conrad will be as brutally honest as he usually is and answer "Everything," but his scrunched-up expression tells me he's trying to be diplomatic.
"It's small. And… chaotic."It's exactly like me!
"So I should live in your perfectly soulless apartment?" I spat, quickly clamping my mouth shut as his expression goes blank. Shit.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know why you bring forward this bitchy, confrontational side of me. I didn't mean it." I throw my arms around his neck and kiss his cheek. And he freezes. A solid mass of unmoving muscles under my fingers. Then he pushes me back, keeping me at arm's length.
"What was that?"
"A hug. And an apology."
"Do it again." He drags me back against his chest and I hug and kiss him on his cheek, tears stinging behind my closed lids. Has no one ever done this to him? "You're forgiven. Just keep it up."
I hug him tighter. Damn, he's breathing like he's about to pass out from lack of air.
"I don't think I want to let you go, my gift. Ditch work. Let's pack your things, and then you can change whatever you want in my apartment."
"Compromise: I need to have a quick talk with Jasper and see if he needs some help, and then we can do what you said. He has put his neck on the line for me. I hate to leave him to fend for himself. Just a couple hours, okay?"
"Okay. I need to ask you something first. I'll probably sound like an idiot, but I don't give a fuck. Is it normal to feel like you're dying but you've never been happier?" A punch in my gut. And more proof he doesn't lie. He truly doesn't know what feelings are.
"Whatever you feel is normal, Conrad. The beauty of being human is that we can feel in the most absurd ways, and it's perfectly okay."
"Do I make you feel like that?"
Once again, he pushes me back and keeps me at arm's length.
Yes. No. What the hell do I tell him?
"I'm not sure." Yeah, this is the most honest thing I can say.
