Page 43 of His Gift
"Dressed, coffee made, and ready to listen. Come here." I signal to Harper to join me on the couch, and when she sits, I cover both of us with a comforter. I know my cruel girl feels the cold and if she wants to talk, I guess she doesn't want to be hugged. I can't avoid playing with her hair, though, and she doesn't protest.
"I'm sorry I ran away. I can give you all the reasons I already gave you, and add that it wasn't my finest moment, but it was cruel, as you have pointed out,repeatedly, and I knew it."
"Did you think I'd give up?"
Heat rises in her cheeks, but she keeps her eyes fixed on her clasped hands.
"Yes. I really did so. And at the cost of making you even more cocky, I thought about calling you. It's true I missed you. And against my better judgment, I want to just forget what you did, if you promise it will never happen again."
"If someone hurts you, I will react, Harper. I won't kill anyone unless your life is at risk or they're as bad as your uncle." I know it's not the answer she hoped for, but there's no sense in lying.
"The Feds are protecting me. You won't need to."
"Is that a statement or wishful thinking?" And I earn myself a glare. "Come on. I know they're not watching you around the clock yet, but I still found you and stalked you for two months. I was inside your apartment at night. I want to believe they have the situation under control, but I'll keep my eyes open. And if need be, I'll act."
"You're not helping, Conrad."
"No, I don't lie. And I want you to accept me for who I am. Good and bad. I'm almost forty and your uncle was my first. I told you I didn't make that call lightly. I'm still convinced it was the right thing to do. When it comes to you… I'd beat myself up for not contacting Doctor Crowe sooner."
"You went out of your way already, Conrad. And I'm grateful."
"I don't want your gratitude. I hate seeing you in pain. I did it for me as much as I did it for you."
"You're impossible, you know?" I shrug and take her hand, dragging it under the cover and on my heart. Fuck, I missed her. "Are you still convinced I'm made for you? Will you change your mind?"
"Always, and I'm pretty sure I won't. I don't see a future where you're not in it."
"You know what love bombing is?"
"I have no idea, Harper. The two words don't belong in the same sentence, though."
"It's when you say all the right things and go out of your way just to get control of the other person."Oh, for fuck's sake!
"Does it sound like me, Harper? I'm pretty sure I've said and done more things to piss you off than anything else. Have you scoured the web to find out why I'm the way I am with you instead of trusting what I keep telling you? Come here." As gently as I can, I pick her up and sit her on my lap. Fuck the distance. And fuck this shit. Will she ever hear what I have to say? "I've answered any question you've had and you know I've been truthful. Either you assume I'm bat-shit crazy—and then you really should rat me out to your Fed friend—or you must start being reasonable."
"And I told you to stop giving orders like you're the boss of me."
"I give reasonable orders—aside from you never running from me again, that is."
She slumps against my chest. "I just woke up, and I'm already tired. And can you not poke me in the back? We're arguing, for fuck's sake."
"Don't worry, it will stay in my pants. I can't control it though. I want you even when you're acting like a madwoman. And it still wasn't an answer. I'm done with you turning me around without ever giving me a straight answer."
"Fine, yes! I was scouring the web or whatever. It's no news I find your theory unbelievable."
"Even after last night?" I turn her face up to look at me. I want to see her when she answers.
"No!"
"So why ask?"
"Because… Why didn't you read my diary?"
"No way. I'm not saying another word to you. It's your damn turn. But before that…" She's still looking at me, so I just have to dip my head to bring our lips together. I'm not kissing her, though. Again, it's her fucking turn. And she pulls back.
"Harper—"
"Hold on. Not before. After. I asked because I was writing my diary as if I was speaking to you. I missed you. And I was running out of reasons not to call you. I thought you'd send me to hell, but I would've called. In a month or in a year, I don't know. I'm willing to give this a try. Stop acting like a dictator, though. And…"
