Page 28 of His Gift
Harper
I'm back at my desk after a peaceful nap—too peaceful, too comfortable after what happened, and the other side of my bed was still warm when I woke up, but I won't think about that now—rapping my fingers on the laminate.
What the hell do I do? Who should I even ask? The upper management must know, at least some of them, and if I alert the wrong person, I'll be in big trouble. I should call the FBI. I don't want to callthe FBI. I don't want to be a whistleblower. Why can't I forget all about this contract? Just forget it, act as if I never saw it. I already have enough problems weighing on my mind.
But I can't. I can disregard that I've slept with a killer, but I can't turn a blind eye to the fact that my company is in cahoots with the mob.
"Everything okay? Are you still feeling off?"
"No, Paula, I'm just… thinking too hard. You can head home now. I wasted half the day, so I'll stay a while longer."
"You don't look good. Maybe you should go home too and rest. You'll be way more effective tomorrow."
She's right. And I must find a shrink. I need to talk this shit out. I feel like a storm is gathering inside me and now that turning to Conrad for comfort is out of the question… Is it out of the question? Dammit.
"You're right. I'll go home and get a good night's sleep."
She gives me a small smile. Maybe I should tell her. She's smart, with a wicked talent when it comes to research. Maybe she'll put my doubts to rest. But if I'm right, I'll put her at risk, too.
If I'm right, everyone's at risk.
"Paula, can you stay a bit? I need to talk."
By the time I'm done telling her everything and showing her the contracts I found, a sickly color has spread across her cheeks.
"I need some time to look into this. I really hope you're wrong, though."
"Me too, Paula. Me too. Don't breathe a word to anyone. If, in the end, I'm right, I'll be the one to spill everything to the authorities. I don't want to put you in danger, but I was losing it."
She makes a small grimace. Maybe I offended her. I didn't mean to sound like her mom, especially since she's been the one to show me the ropes of this office when I arrived.
"I didn't mean—"
"Oh, don't worry. It's just a weird situation. Anyway, I have to go, but tomorrow I'll check everything out, discreetly, and by the end of the day I think we'll have some answers."
"Thank you. And Paula, the guy before me—he hired you, right? What was he like?"
"Yes. And he was… a slacker. I think they moved him to a department where he couldn't do any damage because he's someone's nephew and they couldn't fire him. He wouldn't have noticed something like this. I was so happy when you took over."
Yes. They offered the place to the overachieving, too-young-for-this-job woman that they thought was dumb or easily manipulated. I haven't lingered too much on how I got this amazing opportunity—apparently avoidance is my strong suit—but now I wonder.
twenty-one
Harper
Ihaven't gone to sleep. I knew he'd come back. But I've used the time to really think. To put it all together. I'll probably need many, many appointments with a really good shrink, but at least I know where I stand.
"You shouldn't be here."
"I should be nowhere else."
"I told you I want nothing to dowith you."
"I heard you. Did you hear me? There's only one way to get rid of me: call the cops. Even then, I'll only be gone for a while. I belong to you; you belong to me."
He hasn't touched me; he's just been lying next to me, waiting for me to speak. There must be at least a flicker of reason within him, whispering that he has crossed too many lines.
"I will do it, Conrad. I will. This," I turn around to look at him and gesture between us, "is wrong. What you did is wrong. It was kidnapping and sexual assault. It was murder and violence. It doesn't matter that I enjoyed it. It doesn't matter that I feel connected to you. It doesn't matter that you changed course when you learned what happened to me. And it doesn't matter that a small, rotten part of me is happy you killed my uncle and beat my ex. Don't you see? You're the first person in my life to show me such care and tenderness, but you abused me exactly like the others. You played mind tricks, used drugs, and employed brute force just to get what you thought you deserved. Do you see it?"Please, please tell me you see it.
