Page 1 of Debts and Desires
PROLOGUE
The past two months had unfolded like a whirlwind of music notes and lingering regrets.
Barely a week had slipped by since I finished the final pieces of the new song. Now we were recording and readying it to debut in a few days. My heart felt like it had taken residence in my throat and my lunch threatened to join me for a duet. I touched my stomach, hoping I could have a moment of quiet. That moment lasted less than thirty seconds when the door behind me opened, jolting me from my thoughts.
“Ready, Em?” Zac asked, closing the door. Sydney and Justin flanked him, both of which gave a smile and a small nod.
“Yep.” I smiled. It wasn’t a genuine one, but it was enough. I made my way through the door to the right of the massive soundboard. Once settled in the booth, I pulled my headphones on and secured my guitar strap around me, giving a shaky thumbs up. Belmont held up the okay signal and the ‘now recording’ sign flickered to life. I drew in a full breath, shutting my eyes. Then I did the one thing I vowed to never do again.
I thought of Carter and sang.
1. THE CAGED BIRD GETS HER WINGS
August 27
Having been delayed by traffic, I arrived in Hudsonville, Georgia at Pete’s Sake Bar and Grille later than anticipated, thankfully with enough time to fix my hair and makeup.
When I arrived, I parked in the back lot, grabbing my guitar case, makeup bag, and clothes before heading in. I still had thirty minutes until seven, which was when I was supposed to go on stage.
I walked through the alleyway, coming to the side door that Tyler, the bar manager, had mentioned. I rang the doorbell and waited.
As I waited, I thought about what had brought me here and cringed slightly.
Traveling alone wasn’t as scary as everyone had made it out to be. I’d been on my own for two weeks and then some without being kidnapped, murdered, orworse. I was still cautious, carrying both a taser and pepper spray. Of course, I stayed alert, too, practicing good situational awareness because staying alive waspretty highon my priority list.
That’s why I left.
I wanted to feel alive.
You know that feeling when something sets your soul on fire? For me, that was when I strummed the strings of my guitar and let my voice soar.
I’d always wanted to be a singer and I was finally chasing that dream. I lost everything because of it, but I didn’t care. If you’re not willing to lose it all for your dreams, what’s the point?
My parents had wanted me to either become a lawyer, like my dad, or go the doctor route, like my mom. Something high-paying, useful, and respected.
I would ratherdie.
Dramatic, I know. But that was me, Emogen Rae Brighton; family disappointment, and drama queen extraordinaire. I would rather not exist than settle for something that didn’t ignite passion within me.
Amidst the yelling, fighting, and “discipling” through nannies with my siblings and me, my parents believed pursuing hobbies was beneficial. Well, until my hobby started overshadowing all other aspects of my carefully structured and pre-planned life. See, they’d gotten me my first guitar when I was eight years old and I hadn’t put it down since. It was as if someone had blown out the stars and replaced them with music notes. Music was freedom, an escape. It helped me make sense of the world around me.
Music saved me.
Mom and Dad—who paid for all of my schooling—discovered only a few weeks ago that I’d gone for music instead of law like I’d told them. I don’t know how I pulled it off considering they were always in my business, but I did.
It wasn’t until my degree was delivered to their house instead of my boyfriend’s apartment by mistake that things went to shit. Mom took it upon herself to open it and imagine her surprise when she read the damnable words.
To top it off, that was when they also found out I’d been living part time with my boyfriend, who was, in fact,nota female lawyer friend I’d been shadowing. I’d made it threemonths after graduation before I had to confess it all to them. And it wasn’t pretty.
They kicked me out, cut me off, and shunned me for the foreseeable future.
I was thankful I’d thought ahead and began saving up money here and there; from leftover tuition—which wasn’t much—book buybacks, and a crappy bartending job at a dive bar. I even took from the allowance my parents had for me. I kept it all in cash because my bank account was a joint one with my parents. I’d planned on getting my own, but one thing after another kept me from doing so and cash was just easier. Besides, there was something rewarding about seeing the physical stacks grow.
As if fate intervened, I saw an advertisement on social media a few days later, promoting a contest to win a record deal with well-known manager and producer, Zac Belmont. Contestants could either submit a video or show up for an appointment to audition in Austin, Texas. I don’t know why, but I didn’t want to submit a video. I wanted to show up, give it my all, and make a lasting impression.
Having a cheating, abusive bastard of an ex helped propel me forward, too. He wasn’t abusive in the physical sense, more manipulative than anything. But catching him balls-deep in his dad’s secretary on our couch that same day I saw the ad was enough for me to sever thosemaybe he’ll changeties and leave. And my punch to his jaw when he tried to feed me theit was a mistake, babybullshit was even more satisfying.
After a call with my best friend, Mia, I decided it was as good of a time as any to uproot my life and relocate. I had saved enough to get to Texas, pay rent for at least six months while job hunting, and a month of freedom before that.
