Page 2 of Debts and Desires
Thus, my solo roadtrip aimed for fame began and how I found myself standing in the back alley of Pete’s Sake Bar and Grille.
A few moments passed before the bar’s back door swung open, revealing a tall and muscular figure with golden brownhair. His blue eyes, adorned with thick, black-rimmed glasses, twinkled with a warm sincerity.
“You Emmy?” he asked with a southern accent.
“I am.”
“Tyler Ward.” He held out his hand, and I shook it. “C’mon in.” He gestured, stepping aside to let me enter.
When we were in, he gave me a quick run down of where everything was.
“Thanks,” I smiled.
“No problem. I usually do a quick sound check ten minutes before. I’ll come back for ya then,” Tyler informed me before disappearing, leaving me to find my way around.
I headed to the private bathroom, thankful he had pointed it out. With practiced precision, I applied my makeup and fixed my hair. I changed into the yellow sundress and jean jacket I’d brought in. I kept on my white flip-flops, thankful that Mia and I had gotten pedicures.
My heart sank, wishing she was here with me yet again.
Stepping back, I assessed my handiwork in the mirror, pleasantly surprised by the result. I headed back out, nearly ready to perform. My nerves fluttered in my stomach, but I pushed the feeling aside, knowing it was just anticipation.
You can do this!
I had just gotten my guitar tuned and my voice slightly more warmed up—I had already done most of it during the ride—when Tyler reappeared, guiding me toward the stairs to the stage.
A small curtain served as a barrier between the stage and patrons. I peeked out. The lights were dim, casting a golden glow across the surprisingly large room. I thought this place was supposed to be a small town bar, but there were alotmore people out there than I expected. Maybe like thirty? Which doesn’t sound like much, but when you’ve never performed outside of school performances or drunk karaoke before…
After a quick mic check, Tyler took to the stage, leaving me momentarily alone with my thoughts.
It’s a small stage.I tried convincing myself.For an even smaller crowd. In a town where no one knows you and you’ll never see them again. You can do this.
My palms were starting to sweat and my heart was pounding in my ears. I wished Mia was here again.
“Alright, folks, we’ve got a new face tonight, all the way from New York. Let’s give a warm welcome to Emmy Rae.” Tyler’s voice reverberated through the room, eliciting a smattering of applause from the crowd. I let out a breath before walking out behind the curtain, clutching the neck of my guitar.
The bright yellow lights were blinding, heating my body. Every step I took, I trembled. Approaching Tyler, he carefully placed the microphone back on its stand and offered me a stool to sit on.
As I turned to face the crowd, I couldn’t see their individual faces, but I could feel their collective gaze on me. But it was more than just a crowd watching; there was an energy that prickled the hairs on my arms. Pushing aside the creeping unease, I reminded myself that it was merely nerves. Gathering my composure, I smiled and spoke into the microphone.
“This is my first official time performing live, so I’m not really sure what to say right now other than thank you for coming out tonight.” I hated how unsure my voice sounded, but I pushed on. “And I hope you guys like it. I’m going to start with a cover.”
Plucking the strings of my guitar, I closed my eyes and allowed the music to guide me. To calm me. My fingers danced effortlessly across the frets, as if they possessed a mind of their own. The song wasn’t mine, but I knew it well enough to play it without thinking. It was one of my favorite songs, one of the first ones I ever learned to play. I sang the lyrics softly at first, trying to get a feel for the acoustics of the room. Once the notes bounced off the walls and came back to me, I found my pace. Then I opened up and let the words pour out. Each new line calming me further until I was fine.
Before I knew it, the song was over. The applause and hollers I got when I finished made me smile and want to continue on.
“Thank you. This next one is one I wrote a while ago. It’s called, ‘Hole in My Soul’.” I started strumming the intro, letting the music take over once more. My voice grew stronger as I sang the somewhat sad, bluesy melody.
HOLE IN MY SOUL
Verse 1
There’s a darkness deep within, a void I can’t control,
A hollow space inside my chest, it’s eating at my soul.
I’ve tried to find the light, but it’s slipping through my grasp,
This night, it never seems to end, I fear it’s all gonna collapse.
