Page 61 of Desire Me
“Okay,” Rae croaked.
“Are you coming with us, or…”
A hard shiver racked Rae’s body. “I—” She swallowed again, cleared her throat. “Leah, I…”
Again with the smile. “I thought so.”
“Thought what?”
“Thought you were smarter than you were letting on.” She gathered Rae into a hug. “It’s scary putting your heart on the line. Takes a fuck-load of strength. I should know—look at the guy I picked.”
Thinking about how scary Remi had seemed the first time she met him, Rae gave a strained laugh. “You didn’t do anything halfway.”
“Neither are you.” Leah leaned back. “You have your phone. Call me if you need me.”
A flutter of panic set up in Rae’s throat. She swallowed it back down. “I will.”
Leah nodded, gave her another hug, then went to collect her boyfriend. After seeing the two of them out, Rae bypassed the dining room where the rest of the team had gathered, gripped her courage with both hands, and headed down the hall after Saint.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
He was standing in the shower when she peeked through the half-open door of the bathroom. Hands fisted, knuckles pressed hard into the tile as he leaned forward, letting the hot water rain down his back. His head hung between his outstretched arms, hiding his face, his emotions, although the tension radiating from his body alongside the steam told her all she needed to know.
Anger. Hurt. Frustration.
Rae felt her own frustration and anger melt into something softer. She didn’t know what had happened while they were gone, but they’d all come home more grim than when they left. She didn’t think that was because of what little they’d uncovered. What had Saint been forced to do? What memories weighed on him now because of her?
She didn’t know, but she knew the other things that weighed on him, things she was responsible for putting there. It was time to put those things to rest.
Stepping into the bathroom, she quietly began to remove her clothes. Saint heard her—she knew by the way his head came up—but otherwise he didn’t move, simply waited to see what she would do.
It took some courage. After all, Saint had walked away from her advances more than once. And although each time had hurt, that had been nothing compared to now. Now her heart was involved whether she wanted it to be or not. That’s what she’d realized in the living room—she had one chance with this man, and if she wanted to take it, she had to do it now, before the damage between them was irrevocable. Yes, Saint had lied. Yes, it was wrong. But knowing him as she did now, the way he’d cared for her after the accident; the way he worried over her, whether that worry was about another attack or simply a headache; the way he looked at her in those unguarded moments when he thought she couldn’t see… She couldn’t remember anyone ever looking at her like that, with such raw emotion that it tore her defenses down as if they were nothing but tissue paper.
Standing here, naked—physically and emotionally—she realized that rising to the surface in her brain were random moments from her past life, memories of kisses, faces, laughter, dates, but none of them held the power of a single moment she’d shared with Saint. Not one. That was worth fighting for, even if what she had to fight was her own lack of trust.
She reached for the shower door, pulled it open, and felt the steam wash over her sensitized skin as she stepped inside. Hot droplets splashed through the air as Saint straightened fully, his back still to her. His name was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t speak, couldn’t move beyond closing the door behind her, encasing them both in the wet warmth and silence.
Saint’s arms dropped. Rae held her breath as he turned to face her.
And then she was moving, her palms finding his warm, wet chest, her breath coasting across his tightening nipples. Her belly met his—and cushioned the hardness jutting from the center of his body that he didn’t attempt to hide from her. When his arms came around her, drawing her tighter against his nakedness, relief left her feeling weak.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered into his wet skin.
“No. No, cariño.” Saint gripped her chin then, tilting her face up until their eyes locked. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I knew it would hurt you to find out, but I did it anyway. I couldn’t leave you unprotected, Rae.”
“Why?” She needed to know, needed to hear it aloud.
“Because I’m pretty sure, even then, that I was already falling in love with you.”
Rae froze. Of all the things she’d expected him to say, the L word wasn’t it. That he cared about her? Yes. Thought about her? Wanted her? Yes. But love?
That signature sexy grin made its appearance. “Shocked? Or scared shitless?”
“Y-yes.”
His husky laughter poured like warm molasses over the surprised chill that had shot down her body at that word. Saint brought that laugh to her mouth as he kissed her, filling her up with the joy bubbling inside him—and she ate it up, ate him up, opening her mouth and sucking his tongue in, drawing on him, needing some part of him deep inside her, even if it was just this. His kiss fed her hunger until all that was holding her up was his arms tight around her.
Drawing back, he nuzzled her nose, his breath rough against her mouth. “Forgive me?”
