Page 60 of Desire Me
King returned, rolling a cloth-covered navy suitcase behind him. The bag wasn’t familiar, and though the idea of having her own belongings again made her happy, she didn’t move toward it. Maybe it was knowing the men who’d tried to kidnap her, who’d been stalking her had been through it already, but something about the bag felt…tainted. As if she needed to dump everything in a washing machine before putting her hands on it again.
King settled the bag against the wall. “Thank you,” Rae murmured.
“We did check for bugs and bombs,” he joked. “Have Saint wash it all. It’ll make you feel better.”
She wasn’t sure if she was reassured or disturbed by the fact that he understood how she felt, so she nodded and left it at that.
Remi had settled beside Leah on the sofa, his beefy arm going automatically around her shoulders. She rubbed her cheek against his bicep. A pang of something that felt all too much like longing went through Rae at the sight, not because it was Remi, but because her first impulse had been to throw herself in Saint’s arms and soak in the fact that he was safe, here, back with her. An entire room separated them now, and she still wanted to feel his hands on her, feel him surrounding her. Feel both the heat of his body and the emotional warmth that enveloped her every time she was near him.
And doesn’t that tell you something?
She glanced down at the arms she’d wrapped tight around her middle, holding herself back. When she looked up, her gaze clashed with Saint’s, and the longing she was trying so hard to ignore stared right back at her.
“So what do we know now that we didn’t know before?” Elliot was asking.
Dain snorted. “Not a whole helluva lot.”
King ticked off on his fingers. “We know who is after Rae, that they’re after some object—no idea what—they’d hidden in her warehouse and she somehow ended up with—no idea how—and that they’ll do just about anything to get it back, including trying to beat the location out of her despite the fact that she has amnesia.”
“Not an approved treatment,” Leah put in sourly. “And it definitely won’t get them anywhere.”
“Tell them that.” Anger gave Saint’s words a hard edge. “Basically we don’t know shit more than we did this morning except a name.”
“And that recovering my memory is more important than ever.”
Saint shrugged away the suggestion. “Nothing we can do about that.”
“Maybe there is.” Rae cleared her throat, which had gone tight. “I talked to Nathan while you were gone.”
“What?”
Saint’s shout was accompanied by a chorus of protests and questions, making her head hurt. She raised a hand, waiting until the noise died down before sharing what her cousin had told her about her abrupt departure and supposed trip. “Apparently I’ve been sending them postcards periodically.”
“Easy enough to do when you have contacts all over the world, which I’m sure the cartel does,” Remi said. “Have your uncle fill them out, package them up, send ’em out to be mailed back.”
“A lot of trouble for a criminal network to go to, to cover their tracks,” Elliot pointed out.
“It may not be the cartel,” Rae pointed out, her words husky with an emotion she didn’t really want to think about: pain. “Fishing crews come from all over to work the season before traveling home. My uncle would have plenty of contacts—and he seems to be the one trying to cover tracks.” She dropped her gaze to the floor, not wanting to see the pity staring back at her. “But that wasn’t really my point. My point is, hearing Nate’s voice sparked memories. Granted, they weren’t recent memories, but…” She forced herself to peek at the group. “Maybe it’s time for me to go back to Maine. Maybe that’s the only way I’ll remember what happened. Maybe it’s time to end this.”
“End this?” Saint’s hands tightened on his biceps, the knuckles going white as if he was trying to hold himself back. He certainly wasn’t holding back the fury in his voice. “You don’t even rememberthis—how are you supposed to keep yourself safe if you don’t know for certain what happened or who the threat is?” He bit out a curse. “Your memories will return on their own, Rae.”
“That could take a long time,” Leah dared to point out. “Triggers might make it faster, but Rae…” She shook her head. “My opinion, both medical and personal? Putting yourself in danger isn’t worth that. Here you’re safe; there, you’re in the lion’s den.”
Maybe being in that lion’s den was worth having this over with. Maybe anything was better than the hellish limbo she found herself in. Except when her eyes met Saint’s and the force of his emotion washed over her like a tsunami, she wasn’t so sure. Of her plan, herself. Of anything.
Saint made a noise in his throat, deep and pained. His eyes widened, and she knew he’d read her mind, knew she’d considered putting herself in danger just to get away from him.
That’s when the light in his eyes died.
Without a word, he turned from the group and headed down the hall. Everyone in the room stared after him, then looked at Rae, back and forth as if trying to figure out what had passed between the two of them in those few seconds that no one else could decipher. And then a slow knowing crept in as, one by one, they seemed to figure it out too. Rae tightened her arms around herself as the bottom dropped out of her stomach.
Was she really that angry at this man, that she’d run headlong into danger instead of staying with him? Was what he’d done really so bad? He’d lied; they both knew he’d lied. But why? It wasn’t to hurt her. If it was to protect her, could she really blame him for that? Could she blame him for any of this?
She stared down the empty hallway that led to Saint’s bedroom, the questions whirling in her brain, emotions whirling in her chest. Deep down inside, the only place where taking out the truth and examining it was safe, she did just that, sorting through the hurt and fear and pain until one thing became blindingly clear. Only one thing.
She blinked, glancing around, and realized the party was breaking up in the living room. Talk of sorting out dinner and putting away gear. Remi on the phone with his brother, searching for more intel. Only Leah stared back at her, a question in her eyes. Rae gulped.
A slow smile warmed Leah’s face. She stood, came around the couch to stand in front of Rae. “I think we’ll be going home.”
