Page 43 of X's and O's
Toby looked up when I entered, and all I could do was burst into tears.
I was in his arms in a heartbeat, him holding me tight, squeezing me so hard it was tough to breathe.
“Oh, girly-pop. What did he do?”
I pulled back, wiping my tears, and threw myself down on the couch. “Well, he definitely didn’t take me into his arms, kiss me, and start talking about our future together.”
Toby sat heavily next to me, his face a twisted, angry scowl. He picked up a cushion and handed it to me. “Here. Punch it. Pretend it’s his face.”
He didn’t have to tell me twice. I wasn’t much of a puncher, but I did pick up the cushion and throw it across the room as hard as I could.
It hit the wall harmlessly and slid down to the floor with a soft plop.
I sighed. I couldn’t even get properly mad.
My heart was too damn broken.
“What happened?” Toby asked again.
I shrugged. “He’s not attracted to me.”
Toby shook his head. “That prick said that?”
I paused. “Well, no, not exactly.”
“So what made you think it?”
I sighed pitifully. “I could see it in his eyes, Tobes. He’d clearly gone there hoping I was some cute little cheerleader type he could carry around in his pocket—”
Toby held up his hand like he was trying to stop traffic. “But you told him you weren’t. Why would he think that?”
I shrugged. “He couldn’t get out of there quick enough. It was nothing like what I’d hoped for.”
Toby leaned over and rubbed my leg. “Well, screw him. He’s not good enough for you anyway.”
But I knew that wasn’t true. I’d read every word of his letters a million times. I knew he was a good man.
And now I knew he was gorgeous too. He was so far out of my league, he might as well have been on the moon.
“The worst part is, he didn’t even want to have sex with me. The man has been in prison for six years! And I’m still not attractive enough to fuck.”
God, the whole thing was absolutely mortifying. I covered my burning eyes with my hands, unable even to face my best friend.
He dragged my hands away and stared at me fiercely. “That is absolute bullshit, Violet Garrisen. And I will not have anybody, not even you, saying such mean things to my best friend.” He dragged me to my feet and marched me into my bedroom, standing me in front of the full-length mirror. “You are a beautiful bitch. A queen, by anyone’s definition. Do you know how many women would kill to be as tall as you? For hair that’s naturally blond? For those tits and that ass? Woman, if vaginas weren’t repulsive to me, then I would be all up in yours like it was the gateway to Heaven.”
I stared at Toby in the mirror, standing behind me, but tall enough to rest his chin on my shoulder.
We both cracked up laughing.
“Repulsive vagina!” I wheezed. “Oh my God, I don’t know whether you’re trying to make me feel better or worse!”
“Oh, girly-pop. I meant all vaginas in general. Not yours specifically. I’m sure yours sparkles like Edward Cullen.”
And this was why I loved him. Because he had the ability to make any situation into something that made me laugh. I climbed onto my bed, and he lay down next to me. His fingers linked around mine, and we both stared at the ceiling.
“Vi?”
“Mmm?”
