Page 44 of X's and O's
“You know your real problem isn’t Levi. It’s that you have absolutely no self-confidence.”
I sighed. “No self-confidence. No sexual experience. I’m thirty years old and I’ve never even been properly kissed. Let alone anything else. My vibrator is the only man who’s ever been near my definitely not-sparkly vag.”
Toby twisted so we were facing each other. He wore his “I have a great idea” expression.
I sat up quickly, holding a single finger up in front of his face. “No. I know that look. Last time you had it, you tried to convince me to go skydiving. The time before that you wanted me to go to that hot yoga retreat that I’m pretty sure was actually code for a group sex session.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “And the time before that, it was you signing me up for a prisoner pen pal exchange! Look how that turned out!”
Toby huffed, “Okay, fine. I admit that some of myideas in the past have been a little bit out there. But, Vi, I hate seeing you cry like this. And this keeps happening! I would normally suggest therapy, but we both know that pouring your heart out to me is better than any therapist. So what I actually think you need is this…” He got up from my bed and jogged across the hallway to his bedroom. He returned a moment later with a small white card.
It had a man’s name printed on it, and a phone number. That was all.
I glanced up at him. “What’s this?”
“Okay, don’t reject this idea straightaway. Just hear me out. So I might have accidentally been eavesdropping on Lily and Jewel at work—” He shot me a stern look. “Don’t judge me. The tea was so hot it was boiling, and they were being loud. Anyway! Lily was telling Jewel about this guy, Wyatt—” He pointed at the card. “And how she and her girlfriends booked this guy for a bachelorette party. Apparently, he taught them all how to give better head.”
I choked on nothing. “Excuse me, what?”
Toby’s eyes were wide as he nodded. “Isn’t it wild? I love it so much. She said he was amazing and actually very informative. She said the things she learned have been blowing her partner’s mind.” Toby’s expression turned smug. “Probably nothing I couldn’t teach you as a gay man, of course, but you and I are not going down that path. But Lily now won’t shut up about what a sex goddess she is. And, Vi, I think you need a bit of that. She said he’s older, hot, and made her feel so confident.”
“I am not calling up some random sex worker and asking him for blow job and confidence tips, Toby!”
He pouted at me. “Girl, what exactly do you have to lose? You’re lying here crying over a prison inmate. You’ve hit rock bottom.”
I elbowed him. But he probably wasn’t wrong.
I picked up a stress ball from my bedside table and tossed it into the air. “I wonder what he charges?”
“A lot.”
I sighed. “Well, that’s me out. I haven’t got any money.”
“I’ll give it to you.”
I shook my head fast. “No way. You should use that for something more important.”
He grabbed my hand, pitched the stress ball across the room, and squeezed my fingers. “Vi, do you think I’ve forgotten you were the person who sat by my side through months of rehab after my attack? Do you think I don’t notice how you always make my favorite meals, even when I know you don’t particularly like them, so you have to pick out all the mushrooms? Don’t you know you are the most important thing I have?” He grinned. “Well, you and myGrey’s AnatomyDVDs. I tell you, those things are going to be worth big money someday as collectors items. But the point is, I’d give you everything I have if you asked me for it. Some money so you finally feel good in your own skin is money well spent in my opinion.”
My heart swelled, and I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “You’re the best friend I could have ever wanted, you know that, right? I’ll think about it.”
He nodded and got up off the bed. “My work here is done then.Grey’slater?”
“Of course.”
He left, and I stared down at the little white card.
Wyatt DeLeon.
Yeah. I was never calling him.
12
VIOLET
Toby snorted from the other side of the couch, way more interested in whatever was on his phone than Meredith and Derek making out on our TV screen.
I threw a piece of popcorn at his head. “You’re missing all the kissing!”
He plucked the popcorn from its landing place on his chest and tossed it into his mouth. “Sorry. Devin is being cute. And sweet. And funny.”
