Page 50 of So That Happened
Connor nodded. ‘Yeah.’
Josie waited for him to elaborate. The silence stretched on.
She wasn’t ever going to see him again. She knew that. She just didn’t want to believe it. He was right; they lived in different worlds. Different universes.
How was she going to go back to her old life, knowing he was out there somewhere but that she’d never see him again? What if it always felt as if a piece of her was constantly missing?
She liked him. She really, really liked him.
Trying to shake off the thought, she told herself she’d forget all about him once she got her head back into work, but she was uncomfortably aware that the lure of working didn’t hold the appeal it once had.
What had she done? She’d gone and replaced one obsession with another, and this new one was going to stride out of the door some time very soon and never look back.
* * *
Connor cursed himself. He’d known this would happen. The subtle questions about what he was doing next and the not-so-subtle one asking how he could live like that were already being wheeled out. How could he have thought it was going to be any different with Josie? She’d seemed so autonomous he’d thought he’d get away with it this time, but she was already ringing conversational warning bells.
Damn it.
Not that the thought of what it would be like to see more of her hadn’t flitted through his mind. But that was all it had been – a passing whim. He’d banished the thought as soon as it sprang into his consciousness. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t do this again. Not after the mess with Katherine. He wasn’t ready to give enough of himself to a relationship – not when there was still so much to fix in the world.
There was that hot, panicky feeling again – which he refused to acknowledge this time. It wasn’t going to get the better of him.Shewouldn’t get the better of him. This thing between them had a use-by date, which was now uncomfortably close. She obviously felt it too if she was starting to ask theWhere are we going now?questions.
A sudden blinding anger coursed through him. Why the hell was she going there when they’d agreed not to? Now he was going to look like the bad guy again when he put an end to this fling.
She turned on the sofa to face him and he had to grit his teeth and force a smile, so as not to alert her to the raging fury he was battling with.
He obviously wasn’t doing a very good job because she frowned and drew back.
Before she could ask him anything else, he put his hands on either side of her face and pulled her roughly towards him. Kissing her hard, he pushed her down onto her back and ran his hands up under her skirt.
He wanted to stop her asking any more of him than he felt able to give, and this was the best way he knew. As good an avoidance technique as any.
Pulling her lacy knickers roughly away from her body, he heard the delicate material rip. Opening his eyes, he saw she had hers open too and was staring at him in surprise. Tamping down on a twist of self-reproach, he moved away from her, pulling her with him and guiding her off the sofa onto her knees, so she had her back to him and her belly pressed into the soft cushions.
‘Spread your legs,’ he said, and she complied without a word.
Her total submission thrilled him and his erection pressed hard against the material of his trousers, eager for action. Reaching into his back pocket, he extracted a condom, then freed himself from his clothing so he could roll it on.
Shifting her skirt, he slid between her legs, pressing against her soft folds so she could feel how hard he was.
She gasped as he rubbed himself against her, the action becoming easier as she became slipperier with her own silky arousal. He nudged her clitoris each time he thrust against her and she let out a low moan as he drew back and forth over her sensitive nerves.
‘Yes, yes…’ she whispered.
Hands splayed in front of her, she dropped her forehead to the cushions, refusing to look back at him. She was giving herself to him without barriers – without any kind of fight for once – and it almost stopped him in his tracks. This wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want her compliant and withdrawn. He wanted her fiery and passionate and playful.
‘Just do it. Stop torturing me and do it.’
Her voice was ragged, strained and urgent. Even though he knew this wasn’t just about the sex it didn’t stop him from burying himself inside her, plunging himself right up to the hilt. Grabbing her hips in his hands, he took long, deep strokes inside her, punishing her for the words, the questions, the need.
A surge of dull pain in his chest and an aching tightness in his lungs distracted him for a second, but he battled against it. He wouldn’t let it win – wouldn’t let her win. Not this battle.
He slammed into her over and over again, hearing her grunt and gasp with pleasure under him, her long hair flying across her back as they moved forcefully together. Reaching round, he found the slick nub of her clit and flicked his thumb over it, feeling her twitch and spasm beneath him as her gasps became louder and more intense.
‘Come for me now, Josie,’ he demanded, and she did, her tight muscles clamping around him, drawing him in deeper, the rock of her body urging him to go harder as she came.
It only took another couple of strokes before he was there too, pouring himself into her, the disorientating sensation muddled with his anger and desperation and confusion.
