Page 82 of The Blue Rose
Part of me really wants to kill her, but the need to slice and burn her just isn’t there. I was so close to snapping her neck, but Sam knows who I am. I can’t risk being questioned about her when I’m already being questioned about Tyler.
She ruined my night, and now I don’t even want to watch people get scared. I was already agitated, but now I’m pissed. I punch the wall and let out a guttural roar. All the emotions I’m trying to understand are being ripped through me, as my fist punch holes in the wall. I miss Serena, but she told me to leave her alone. My fists rest above me on the wall, head hanging down, and my breathing ragged.I really need to hear her voice.
I walk back to my car, and my phone is ringing before I can stop myself. She probably won’t answer, but I just need to make sure she’s okay. Just as the phone rings the last time, I hear her sweet voice.
“Hello?” She asks, caution in her tone.Is she nervous I’m calling, or does she not know it’s me?I hope it’s the latter.
“I miss you.”
“A-aster?” she asks hesitantly.
“My little vixen, who else would be missing you?”
“Sorry… I’ve just got a lot going on.”
“You don’t need to explain, it’s okay; did you get your answers?
She’s silent and, for a moment, I think she hung up, but I look at the screen and see the call is still going.
“Vixen?” I ask.
“Yes?” She sniffles.
Fuck, she’s crying; they must not be the answers she was looking for.
“Everything is going to be okay, just take a couple days to process what you found out. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
Being ready after remembering something like that is going to take time. I don’t know how long I can wait before I find outwhere her dad lives and drive to her. The tremor in her voice has me clutching my heart, and I just want to hold her. I know she needs her space. I know she needs this time away with her dad to cope and process, and I’m going to have to let her.
Even if it eats away at the very essence of my being.
“Thank you.”
“Just… don’t take too long. I don’t know how much longer I can go without you.” I light another cigarette. I haven’t smoked in a long time, but all this stress is making me take puff after puff.
That makes her chuckle, my chest finally relaxing. “I’ll be home soon.”
Well, at least I know she can still laugh. “Good; talk soon?”
“Yeah.”
“Good night, little vixen.”
“Good night, Aster.”
The line goes dead, and I drive home to my empty house, regretting not cashing in my birthday present early.
TWENTY-EIGHT
SERENA
It’s been three days since I’ve been with my dad and my memories returned. I stayed in my room, only coming out when absolutely necessary. Sharon keeps leaving food by the door, but I can’t bring myself to eat anything. I can’t imagine being hungry. Not right now. Not for a while. I turned off my phone, not wanting to hear from Aster again.I know he misses me and means well, but… I need time.
Time is a funny thing. One minute you're a kid without a care in the world, living your best life, then you blink and you turn into a killer who forgot everything as a way to cope with what you did.
How can I accept what I’ve done?Last time I forgot it all, but this time, after three days, I still remember. What I did for my mom was mercy; she begged me, and I hated watching her wither away, so I granted her last wish. No matter how much it destroyed me.
Jessica on the other hand? That was revenge. Revenge for everything she made me endure. She was evil, someone who got off on making others miserable, and I was her favorite plaything. I had enough. I snapped. And I couldn’t truly make myself feel sorry for what I did.
