Page 95 of Puck My Stepbrother
“I don’t want you to worry about a thing,” he said.
“How can I not?”
“You just let go, like you did a minute ago when you told me you loved me.”
I realized he was right. I could only take the next step forward by relieving myself of all the baggage the world had loaded onto me.
“Our relationship is just beginning,” he said. “There’s no need to care about that stuff when we have so many fun things to think about.”
“Like what?”
“Just stick with me. You’ll see what I mean.”
38
LEVI
We didn’t have sex. Seriously. Even though our parents would be out of town for most of the week and we could’ve fucked each other’s brains out in every room in the house, we kept our hands to ourselves. That wasn’t my usual style. Quinn said I was the horniest man on Earth, but I was modest enough to say I was only in the top five. Seriously though, I was a very sexual person, but that side of me had taken a backseat.
Looking at Quinn seemed like enough for me, at least for the moment. Soaking it all in felt exhilarating because being with Quinn mattered more than anything. I still wanted him as badly as ever. That wasn’t the issue. Something had changed, sure. I now understood that what I felt for Quinn reached far beyond feeling his firm body or kissing those sweet lips.
Conversations with Quinn stimulated me, but sometimes we didn’t even have to talk. Just being in the same room with Quinn Standish satisfied me. But I wouldn’t call our situation perfect. We hadn’t reached that stage, but I’d fix that problem shortly.
When I strolled into the kitchen, I found Quinn seated at the table with his notebook open, writing. He tilted his head backand I leaned down to kiss his lips. I smiled at him, knowing I could get used to this. Too bad our parents would return home in a few days, which meant we wouldn’t be able to act so openly. I would rectify that before long, too. Until then, I wouldn’t worry about the challenges ahead. I wanted to live in the moment as much as possible.
I dragged out a chair, turned it backward, and sat. Then I leaned over the table to spy on Quinn’s writing.
“Whatcha working on?” I asked.
“Short story. An idea came to me last night and it won’t let go, so I’m getting as much of it down on paper as I can.”
“Cool.”
Hearing that reminded me of the little things about Quinn that’d captured my heart. He thought differently than I did. He could do so many things I couldn’t, even in my wildest dreams.
For the first time, I felt unsure of what to say to him. I knew what was on my mind, but I enjoyed just sitting at the kitchen table with him.
“You really meant what you said the other day, didn’t you?” I asked.
“Which part? When I said I love you?”
“Yeah, that’s the one.”
“Of course I did. You know I would never say something like that if I didn’t mean it.”
“Of course not. Sorry, I’m getting a little screwed up here. I guess what I’m asking is, are we a couple now? Like a real one?”
He half-shrugged, like he hadn’t thought about it one way or another. Some things just fall into place without spoken acknowledgment. Kind of like how I would’ve known he loved me even if he hadn’t come right out and said it. To reach my endgame, I needed to make sure we were on the same page.
He said, “If this is about telling people we’re together, I think we?—”
I reached out and took his hand.
“Don’t worry about that stuff,” I said. “That’s not what I was going to ask you about.”
“It wasn’t?”
I shook my head.
