I paused. Memories of my father’s expression and reddening face rushed back, and I couldn’t let Quinn see how much it’d affected me.
Time to stay tough.
“Then he threw me out of the house,” I said.
“Are you serious?”
I nodded.
“At first, I thought he was going to hit me. That would’ve been a bad idea. My dad’s a strong, tough guy, but I was already stronger and tougher than him thanks to hockey. But the idea that I wouldn’t be allowed to live in his house anymore because of a stupid magazine said a shitload about him.”
“Of course it does. How old were you?”
“Fifteen, and big and strong as hell.”
“Even still, you weren’t ready to be out on your own.”
“Didn’t mean shit to him. Said he didn’t want me in his family or his life.”
“Did you defend yourself at least?”
“Of course, for what good it did. I told him I had no idea how it got there. Good excuse, huh?”
“What everyone probably says.”
“Right. It’s not like I had a stack of dick magazines, but that’s the stroke material I jacked off to every night. He knew it as well as I did. Dad can be a bad man, but he wasn’t stupid.”
“So where did you go?”
“I stayed at a teammate’s house. Ironically, it was a teammate whose ass and cock my mouth had watered over the most.”
A laugh spilled out of Quinn’s mouth.
“Look, the banishment didn’t stick,” I said.
“How long did it last?”
“A whole twenty-four hours, and that’s if you want to round up. I’m sure Dad wanted to make it stick, but my mom cleared things up and invited me back home. We really didn’t talk about what happened. Dad had nothing to say to me, anyway. Mom said to just say nothing and move on.”
“Does that mean she knew why he threw you out?”
“Oh yeah, but she didn’t sweat it. I’m not saying she’s the picture of progress, so I’m sure she thought it was a phase I’d grow out of. But I didn’t care. I just wanted to come home.”
“And then your parents split up.”
“Right. I wasn’t the least bit sad to see the last of that guy, even though technically it wasn’t the last time I’d have to be around him.”
“You just didn’t have to live under the same roof with him anymore.”
“Right.”
“So what came after that?”
All the pain I’d denied for years threatened to gush out in a deluge. At first, I’d thought I could handle it. I was one tough motherfucker, and don’t you forget it. Now that I’d delved into the topic, I realized I didn’t want to say any more.
“Not right now,” I said.
“What?”