Page 41 of Puck My Stepbrother
Again, he paused like I’d spoken nonsense.
“You never noticed, huh?” I asked.
“What are you talking about?”
“All those years in school, when I was taking your lunch money and stuffing you into lockers…I totally had a thing for you.”
He fell silent. You know that saying about hearing a pin drop? Well, you really could have at that moment. Then he shook his head slightly.
“You’re so full of shit,” he said.
“No, I’m not. I swear on the Stanley Cup that during all those years I bullied you, I actually liked you. This is nothing new at all.”
“You swear on the Stanley Cup? Woooooow, you really must be serious.”
“Come on, man, don’t you know how hard it is for someone like me to admit that?”
“I don’t think it’s hard for you at all. Didn’t I just tell you you’re full of shit? I’m sure you’d say anything to get laid.”
I stopped. He had a point there. I’d say a lot of things for a roll in the hay, but I’d told him God’s honest truth. Now I needed him to believe it.
“No way, bro,” I said. “This was a long time coming. When I learned we’d be living in the same house…something deep down inside me really went crazy. I finally had an opportunity to do something I couldn’t have done before. Have you ever wanted to make up for a missed opportunity?”
“Does it matter? And besides, you got what you wanted. I don’t give a shit if yousayyou had a crush on one guy.”
“It wasn’t a crush on just one guy. It’s a little more complicated than that. I sometimes looked at other guys that way, but that came later. You were my first.”
I hadn’t planned to tell him any of this. In a way, I felt like a weakling for admitting it. I’d kept that info under lock and key for so long, but I had to tell him something. The story demandedto be told, I guess. Now that I had the juices flowing, I felt compelled to continue.
“It all started in the seventh grade,” I said.
“Hold on, timeout.” He made a T with his hands. “How could it have started in the seventh grade? You started bullying me the moment you arrived at our school in thefifthgrade.”
“I know I did. I was a bit of an asshole.”
“A lot more than a bit—and you still are.”
“Thank you very much. And I bullied you back then because you were an easy target.”
He gasped like he found that shocking.
“Sorry,” I said. “It’s true.”
“Thanks a bunch, Levi. Why don’t you go ahead and tell your story?”
“Anyway, I saw you sitting there, usually with a book in your hand, always by yourself, and I couldn’t stop looking at you. Sometimes, I looked for way too long.”
Quinn’s expression didn’t change, but I knew I had him hooked now.
“So, I kept admiring you,” I said, “even if it didn’t seem right.”
“Because I have a penis?”
“Right. That and this was around the time that I, and all the other boys in class, were discovering girls.”
“And I was discovering boys.”
“Sure. I’d discovered girls mostly. I diddiscovera few other boys, but that came a little later. It all started with you, Quinn—and it never ended.”
