Page 54 of The Now in Forever
“Sleep Walkin” by Modest Mouse comes on. Ed fiddles with the tab on top of his beer.
“How’s your mom doing?”
Ed shrugs. “We don’t talk anymore, but she and my buddy we lived with stay in touch. He says she’s doing alright. Off the pills. Working at some bar near Roswell.”
I want to ask more when he says, “Tell me about this breakup that had you hacking all your hair off…”
I take a tiny sip of the whiskey. A nearby table filled with dudes in flannels and girls in black tank tops erupts into laughter. We are definitely overdressed for this bar, but no one seems to care. When the noise dies down, I say, “His name was Chad.”
Ed makes a disgusted bleh noise.
“Yeah. It wasn’t just a breakup. It was a divorce.”
There’s a hefty pause before Ed says, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. We don’t have to talk about?—”
“It’s okay. I thought we were going to have kids, be together forever. He was also a teacher, so we both had summers off. I had this whole vision for our lives together. Traveling in the summers. Camping trips with the eventual children. But he was cheating on me. With one of his co-workers.”
“No.”
“It was a long time ago.” Even as I say it, talking about him brings back the old feelings. Not the love that was the first to fade into oblivion, but the sting of betrayal.
“What a dick.”
There’s a long pause where neither of us speaks.
Ed finally breaks the silence. “Hattie, can you forgive me for not recognizing you when you were impersonating Gwyneth Paltrow?”
I laugh, and he reaches for my hand across the table again. His skin is warm, his fingers catching the light of the candle, all except the inky black letters ofhis tattoo.
“Seriously, can you forgive me for not showing up that day in December?”
I inhale deeply, the stale beer scent catching in my throat, but underneath it is him, his citrus clove musk the same from our day so long ago. I let the balloon go and watch it float into the atmosphere, feeling as light as it. “Yes. I forgive you.”
Ed’s rugged jaw cracks into a wide smile.He finishes his beer and looks at me. “Want another drink?”
I shake my head. “Let’s get out of here.”
His smile is so bright, it lights up the room. He takes my hand and leads me out the door. Night has settled, but the air is still muggy. My skirt billows around my legs as we walk down the sidewalk.
We stop at a crosswalk, and I turn to him, putting my arms around his neck. He leans down, and I meet him halfway, reaching my lips up to meet him. Our kiss feels inevitable. Like we were always meant tobe here on this street corner, on this muggy night. He runs his hands over the soft fabric of my dress, and my body immediately responds, goose bumps covering my arms.
The chirp of the crosswalk chimes, and we part. Ed takes my hand as we walk down the street. “What do you want to do?”
I look him square in the eye, my voice unwavering. “You.”
He swallows hard, a nearly cartoon gesture. When we get across the street, he pulls me close and kisses me deeply; the city falls away—his lips, his scent, his body the only things that exist. He whispers in my ears, his lips brushing my earlobe, “The hotel is just a couple blocks this way.”
CHAPTER 13
We race like children on the playground, past food carts and people out smoking in front of bars, until we finally make it to the hotel. I lean against the wall of the elevator, trying to catch my breath, but Ed takes my face in his hands and kisses me softly, seizing what little breath I had left. Time slows.
The elevator dings open. Ed intertwines his fingers with mine as we walk down the long hallway, the anticipation between us so thick, you could snatch it right out of the air and take a bite. Ed takes his keycard out of his pocket, and the beep sends a pulse straight to my thighs.
He holds the door open for me as I enter the room that is identical to ours. I head straight for the bedroom, stepping out of my shoes along the way. Ed follows at a measured pace, his hands in his pockets. I can feel his eyes on me.
In front of the bed, I move one of my straps off my shoulder, then the other, feeling the cool air conditioning on my bare breasts. I let the whole dress fall to the floor in a pool of fabric at my feet, wearing nothing but a light-blue thong. I look over my shoulder.
Ed's hooded and hungry eyes are fixed on me. He comes up behind me, putting his hands on my breasts, his palms cold and his grip firm. His lips make a trail from behind my ear to my collarbone.
