Page 26 of Wolf Bane
Tyler whistled low under his breath.“Trouble in paradise?”he sing-songed.“Never thought I’d see the day.Well.Again.I was sure this second time around, y’all had your shit together.”
“Shut up,” Ethan growled.“Landry, this isn’t justmeat risk here.You work for them too.Whether you like to remember that or not.”
“Yeah…” I nodded to myself, tapping my fingers on my thigh as I turned my attention back to Justin.“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean they own me, does it?You do what you need to do, Ethan.I’m wiped out.I’m gonna go home and go to bed.”
I knew he wasn’t gonna try to stop me, but I was still disappointed when he didn’t even make an attempt.
* * *
It wasdeep into the middle of the night when Ethan came home.I was still awake, still hungry, and gritty-eyed from exhaustion.
But I had a theory.
And a possible accomplice, if Waltrip ever called me back.
I laid in bed, listening as Ethan kicked off his boots then stood in the front hall for a long few minutes, his breathing even and low.Finally, he padded into the kitchen and rustled around quietly, getting something to eat and opening the jug of apple juice in the fridge.It was another half hour before he came to our room but bypassed me to go into the ensuite and shower, brush his teeth, and generally do whatever else he needed to do to avoid me for another half hour.
“Are you done?”I muttered when he made an appearance near 3 a.m., wreathed in steam and smelling of eucalyptus and mint.He swore it kept his scent subtle, hidden from humans who might pick up on it, but I think he just liked how it tingled.
“Still gotta put away dishes,” he said quietly, though he made no move to head for the kitchen.
I pushed up to sit against the headboard.“No one’s gonna break in and steal our dirty dishes before I get to them in the morning.Sit down.We need to talk.”
He hesitated, though I could see him stiffen and puff up a bit in the dim light cast from the moon and streetlight outside.Finally, reluctantly, he came to sit on the edge of the bed near my knees.“We’ve had a shitty week.”
Ethan raised a brow at that.“I want to fight you on this, but we have.And… and it’s not entirely your fault.I’ve been so head-down in getting my footing with the ICW that I’ve been kind of an ass about the distance.”
My petty ass wanted to saytold you soand flounce onto my side, letting him stew about it.But damn it, being an adult won out and I just nodded.“And I’ve been… whiny,” I admitted through gritted teeth.“And hurt that you’re keeping me out of the loop on things that would not only make life a bit easier but my job.It was… is… starting to feel like you’re treating me liketheydo.”
“I’m one ofthemnow, remember?”he said, tired and a bit apprehensive.“Is that a problem now?”
“Not the way you’re worried it is,” I said after a long moment.“I know you remember how it was for me growing up.At least a lot of it.Cleverly…” My breath hitched.Ever take a drink of iced tea on a hot day and accidentally swallow a chunk of ice?That painful, frozen feeling while you gasp for air and thinkthis is it, this is how I dieuntil you can dislodge it, or it goes down to sit heavy and cold in your gut for a few minutes?That’s what it felt like to say her name, to speak out loud about the woman who helped turn me into a lab animal for Bluebonnet.For Garrow.
I had my suspicions that she turned my parents over to them, too, despite what I’d been told over the years about how they abandoned me.First my father, chasing a high that could never be high enough while throwing money at games, sure things, and good odds.Then my mother, allegedly too distraught, too depressed, then too sick to care for a toddler.Cue Aunt Cleverly, stepping in like the superhero she was lauded to be by the community, by her church friends, even by strangers who heard our little story.
All the while, shuffling me to one appointment after another, trying to make sure my asthma, my allergies, my ADHD, all of it was taken care of and managed so I could have the best life possible.
Appointments masking what was really going on.Letting my little body get altered, mutated, used to prove some theory.
Cleverly Babin getting paid to let Garrow and his team play Build a Were with not just me, but dozens of children.
“Hey.”Ethan’s sudden touch on my hand, his low, quiet voice, made me jerk back.“Sorry,” he soothed, stroking my wrist, down to my fingers, and back again.“I haven’t forgotten how you came back to Belmarais.Or… or into my life,” he added, almost shyly.“For the past week or so, the idea that you might feel I’m using you, or treating you like garbage because I’m working with the ICW now, it’s been gnawing at me.And I guess it was just easier to be snappish and push away than ask you flat out… Landry, am I making you unhappy?Is our relationship not good?”
I gnawed my lower lip for a moment, reluctant to say the words that were bubbling in my throat.Finally, I just melted into it, sighing them out.“If I said I was unhappy, what would that mean for us?”
“Would you expect me to quit this job now?”
“No.”Of that, I was certain.“I don’t know what I’d want.But… Ethan, Iamunhappy.”God, it felt good and terrible to admit that.“But it’s not unfixable.And I think… I know… it’s on me.It’s on me, okay?I keep trying to live like nothing’s changed.Iwantto live like nothing’s changed.But my entire world got turned inside out and upside down not that long ago and I’m holding on by my fingertips here, trying to claw back the way things used to be.”
Ethan’s grasp on my wrist tightened, an affectionate and loving squeeze, before he let go and slipped his fingers down to mine, meshing us together in an uncomfortable sort of tangle against the mattress I wouldn’t have broken for all the money in the world.
“When I decided to go into law enforcement,” he began carefully, weighing each word, “it was because I wanted to help people.Especially people here, in Belmarais.Most especially, well, weres.And I was young and dumb and had an idealized vision of what it meant to go into that role and what it would look like for me and for everyone around me.That got ripped away pretty fast.The only reason I stayed as long as I did was because I didn’t know there’d be another option, another way to help weres and shifters.To make us safe without resorting to that job.The council isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but Landry…” His gaze was a mix of helplessness and excitement when he turned it on me, and I could only nod in return.I may not understand it entirely, but I couldn’t deny that Ethan had been moving with more pride, more certainty lately.That he’d been energized in a way I hadn’t seen since before I left for university over a decade before.
And I had to trust him.Trust that he wouldn’t do anything that would hurt me.Hurtus.
“I want to talk to you about what I’ve found.About what I’ve been told,” I added in cautious tones, not sure if Ethan’s pride in his new position extended to ratting out Cullen.
“Landry—”
