Page 31 of Perfect Matcha
Chapter Twelve
Camden’s handsshook as he doused a washcloth in warm water. His face felt like it was boiling, and his ears were ringing. He closed his eyes and breathed slowly, in and out.
He didn’t know what was happening to him. Or why. Maybe fooling around with Theo had been so earth-shattering that his body was making him feel sick.
Unlikely, but it was a better explanation than the one that was lingering at the edges of his mind. It was better than admitting that he was terrified and embarrassed and so, so angry at himself.
This was not the start of a romance between him and Theo.
That was obvious.
It was a random collision of their bodies. Their mouths.
And fuck! They’d kissed. Theo had tasted of matcha, and Camden wished it had been slower. That the kiss hadn’t happened during sex.
The first time Camden had thought about kissing Theo had been at their junior prom. Theo’s date, a nice girl on the quiz-bowl team, had abandoned him to hang out with her friends since Theo had refused to set foot on the dancefloor.
Camden’s date had been drunk. Camden had also been drunk.
He’d found Theo outside, leaning enticingly against the building and staring up at the stars. His skin had looked silvery, and he’d smiled so wide at Camden. Camden had never seen anything so beautiful.
He would have kissed Theo that day. A combination of drunkenness and teenage lack of self-preservation. He would have kissed Theo, but Freddie had turned the corner and grabbed them both in a headlock, one under each arm, and Theo had laughed so hard he’d snorted. The opportunity had disintegrated in Camden’s hands.
That hadn’t been the last time Camden had almost kissed Theo, but something … orsomeone… had always been between them. Freddie had been between them, even when he wasn’t physically there.
Tonight, Camden’s brain had felt Freddie-free. Camden’s worries about ruining his friendship with Theo had been so far away they might as well have been on another continent.
Until the end.
No. This doesn’t count.
Theo’s words. Those fucking awful words.
Their intimacy, the heat, the goddamn wonderfulness hadn’t counted in Theo’s mind.
Theo had said it like it was self-explanatory.No. This doesn’t count.
Camden needed a reality check. A big one. A Publisher’s Clearinghouse-sized reality check.
He’d been able to pretend they weren’t at risk of destroying the very best and most important relationship in Camden’s life, but pretending wasn’t reality.
The truth was that Freddiewasbetween them. Theo and Camden were only here, in this postorgasm moment, because Freddie and Theo had fallen in and out of love. Camden was hiding in Theo’s bathroom because Theo needed a date for Freddie’s wedding. Because Camden had agreed to play matchmaker. Because Camden had let himself get sucked into a fucked-up scheme surrounding sex toys and Hawke Howard. It all started and ended with Freddie.
This really had nothing to do with Camden. He was incidental.
No. This doesn’t count.
A knock on the door made him drop the washcloth onto the tiled floor with a splat.
“Cam, you okay?” Theo asked, his voice painfully hesitant.
Camden swung the door open. They were both still naked, which was … just great. “I’m fine. You?” He retrieved the washrag and scraped it over the dried come on his stomach.
“Yes. A shower might be better at this point.”
“Oh. Okay, sure. Let me get out of your way.” Camden felt all turned around. He was usually pretty chill after sex. He prided himself on being laidback and going with the flow. It was easy to be unflappable when emotions weren’t on the line. With Theo, his emotions were more than on the line. They were exposed to the elements, waving in the wind.
“We can share.” Theo reached over and turned off the faucet, which Camden had left running during his whole internal freak out.
