Page 58 of Big Balls
I force out a chuckle, which I can tell is not convincing because my daughter gives me the look like I’m an alien from outer space again. “Thank you, Ms. Cuthbert.”
She smiles again, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “You’re welcome, Mr. Alexander. Please call me Alicia.”
Beside me, Katy raises her hand as if she were in school instead of at a television soundstage. Alicia nods some encouragement to her. “Go ahead, Miss Katy.”
“Do I get to call you Alicia, too?” Her voice is too loud and a squeal of microphone feedback has all of us momentarily covering our ears. I put my hand along the back of her neck and get Katy to stop breathing so quickly, trying to coax her into relaxing.
When her eyes open again, Alicia is waiting to answer her. “Of course you can, Miss Katy. My friends all call me Alicia.”
Katy’s eyes get big. “Is my daddy your friend too?”
Alicia’s sharp gaze passes over my face, and I struggle to look both harmless and charming, two things I definitely am not even on my best days.
Finally, she nods. “Yes, I suppose he is.”
Katy squeals and throws her arms around my neck. “Daddy, that’s two. Two whole girlfriends. You’re doing great at this.”
I cough to try to cover up my embarrassment, but I can feel my face reddening at Katy’s words. But it’s not exactly worth arguing over, so it’s better to go along with what she’s saying for now.
“Thanks, buddy. Having new friends feels great, right?”
Katy finally releases her octopus hold on me and slides back into her seat. “You’re still my favorite, Daddy.”
She turns her attention back to Alicia Cuthbert. “No offense, Auntie Alicia.”
And with everything as awkward as possible, I launch into the personal interest interview that I hope will save my public reputation and my job with the Sinners.
Alicia’s conditions were that she could ask me anything and I’d give her an honest answer. I figure she was expecting me to balk at that, but I’m done hiding myself or my amazing daughter from public scrutiny.
I’m not ashamed of my daughter in the least. She’s smart and kind and she’s the absolute best part of my entire life. And Katy is tough. Much stronger than I’ve been giving her credit for.
She answers the questions sent her way as if she’s had years to practice. My kid. The one who didn’t say any actual words until she was almost four. She does an excellent job with her manners as well.
I’m so proud of her, and I don’t hesitate to pick her up and kiss her noisily and tell her so at the next break in the interview.
“Am I doing a good job, Daddy?” Katy nestles into my neck.
I snuggle her close. “Absolutely you are. You’re the best kid I’ve ever had, Katy.”
“I’m the only kid, Daddy,” she says with a world-weary air of someone who has to deal with stupid people every day of her life.
“Huh,” I say, feigning surprise. “Are you sure about that?” I pause and scratch my head like I’m trying to remember all fifty of my other kids.
She wriggles out of my grasp and starts twirling around the stage, making the skirt on her dress poof out.
“Not too close to the stairs, okay?”
Katy pauses to give me her dead-eyed stare that she reserves for when I have said something so monumentally stupid that she thinks I am embarrassing her in public. Then she goes back to spinning, humming to herself.
Wait, is that Queen? Is she really humming “We are the Champions” right now?
Alicia comes back to the set and hands me a bottle of water, which I empty gratefully. “Thank you again for your courtesy to both of us, Miss Alicia.”
She smiles at me, and her attention slips again to my daughter. “The interview where Big Balls finally breaks his vow of media silence and all of New Orleans falls in love with his not-so-little girl. I would have scrubbed your toilet to get this interview.”
She pauses. “Well, I would have had one of the production staff do it, anyway. But why now and why me?”
I sit up straighter in my chair. “Because I am tired of acting like there is something to hide about my daughter. She’s a great kid.”
