Page 32 of All In
I have a confession to make. I saw you the other day on campus. You were coming out of Regency Hall talking to a few guys. It took everything in me to not go over and talk to you. I wanted to, really really bad. I wasn’t sure if you would be comfortable with that. So, you know what I did instead? I stalked you. I know, I know. It’s confession time here. I followed you as you walked to your next class over at Glayson Hall. God, writing this down is making me sound like such a creeper. You and the other two guys were joking and laughing, which was nice to hear. I miss your laugh. You haven’t changed much. Your hair is a little longer, and I liked the shirt you were wearing.
Being that close to you was hard. I understand now why you felt the need to approach me at Dexter’s. Why is there still this magnetic pull between us? I really wondered if I should tell you this. I hope you aren’t mad. Please don’t be mad at me. I don’t think I could take it.
Love, Maria
P.S. can you believe this Y2K stuff? It feels kinda over the top, but should we be worried? If the world ends and I didn’t go talk to you, I’m going to be really mad at myself.
Nov. 20, 1999
Dear Maria,
Let me start off by saying this. The world isn’t going to end. The clocks will flip over and nothing will happen. Mark my words.
I wish you would have come up to me. It would have been okay. And I’m not mad at you. Even when I felt like I was mad at you before, I don’t think I ever really was.
Do you and Nate have any plans for the next few months? Nothing on the books for me. More than likely, I will just still be at school, still working, still studying. Pretty boring stuff.
I get what you mean. Seeing you that night and once I saw Nate leave, there was no stopping me from going over to you. I still regret the way the night ended. I’ll always regret it.
Yours, Sam
Feb, 11, 2000
Dear Sam,
You were right. The clocks flipped from December 31st to January 1st and nothing happened. The whole thing was ridiculous.
Now it’s my turn to apologize for taking so long to write. I had a nice start to my new year. Nate surprised me with a trip to Europe! That’s why I’ve been a little quiet. I mean, you know how much I’ve always wanted to travel. He told me about it on New Year’s Day and we left the week after. We visited England, Ireland, Spain, and France. We were gone for a month and spent a week in each country. It was amazing! And I feel like Nate and I got closer on this trip. Which has made me feel better. He seemed more relaxed and playful even.
Anyway, it was nice and I hope to go back someday.
Love, Maria
March 2, 2000
Dear Maria,
That’s awesome, Maria. I’m really happy that you have got to go to Europe. I hope you got to go to the Eiffel Tower. I know that was always something you wanted to see. Plus, I’m happy you have someone that can afford to take you to the places you have wanted to go.
I’m going to be honest here. I went back through and reread our letters. Even the ones that we wrote to each other when we were together. It brought back so many memories and feelings. Truth be told, I probably shouldn’t have done it. I was with Cara for a whole year, and she never made me feel what I felt for you.
Okay, I’m traveling into the romantic zone. You literally just told me that you and Nate are doing well and I have to go and pull this. I’m so sorry.
But I am going to ask you what you asked me before. Do you think that we could meet for coffee? I don’t know … should we meet? Let me know what you think.
Yours, Sam
March 12, 2000
Dear Sam,
If we are being honest, then I guess I have to be as well. I read your letters all the time.
Yes, I would be okay with us meeting up for some coffee. My schedule is pretty busy, but does the beginning of April work? Nate and I are going to go to a Cavs game that first Saturday of April, but maybe we could meet the next day? Nate always takes his mom to church so we could maybe get brunch that morning. Let me know if that works for you. If it does, I’m looking forward to it.
Love, Maria
March 18, 2000
