Page 65 of I Don't Need Your Love
As he passes the other seats and heads my way, I smile and am about to motion for him to sit next to me, but my hand dropswhen he doesn’t look my way. His eyes are on the floor and his head doesn’t seem to be here. Whatever is on his mind weighs heavily, like it’s taken control.
I’m left to watch him pass by and make his way to the back of the bus. He chooses a seat and slides to the window.
Why is he acting so not like himself? Where are the crooked smile and the mischievous gleam in his eyes? It’s almost as if he turned into a zombie.
I can’t help but watch him as the bus fills up and Coach Moreno takes attendance. He just stares out the window like it has the answers to life’s biggest questions.
Once Moreno is satisfied that everyone is accounted for, she instructs the driver to take us back to school.
The bus is noisy as everyone chats and laughs, but their voices are drowned out as I continue to look at Ryder. I think back to the other day when I mentioned the pain in his eyes and how uncomfortable he became. Does this have anything to do with that?
I really don’t like that he’s all alone like that. It’s a crime when Ryder Bennett doesn’t smile or laugh. Like the world can’t function.
Before I know what I’m doing, I get to my feet and walk to the back of the bus. He’s so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn’t even see me coming his way.
“Hey,” I say as I stand at his seat.
He unlatches his eyes from the window and turns to me. There is no expression in his eyes and it appears as though he’s looking through me. But it only lasts for a second before he gives me a small wave. “Hey, Carly.”
“I was wondering if you want to sit with me.”
He turns back to the window. “No, thanks.”
“What? I mean….oh. Okay. Do you want me to sit with you?”
He shakes his head. “I think I need to be alone right now. But thanks for offering.”
He focuses on the window again and I focus on him. Seriously, who is that guy? I’m convinced aliens beamed down and replaced him with someone who is not Ryder.
I shift from one foot to the other, not wanting to leave. It sucks for him to sit here all by himself, not talking to anyone.
“Is it dance? Are you upset we hardly made it? We have time to improve and do much better next time.”
He shakes his head again, not facing me. “No, I’m not upset about dance.”
I wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t. He just sighs heavily as he continues to be fascinated with whatever is outside.
“Okay. I guess I’ll go, then. If you change your mind, you know where I am.”
He looks at me and dips his head. “Thanks.” For a second, the pain evaporates and I see a bit of Normal Ryder, but it’s gone and he’s back to Zombie Ryder.
I want to stay, but I won’t if he doesn’t want me to. I wait a few seconds in case he changes his mind, but he doesn’t.
“I’ll see you later,” I say before going back to my seat, confused as ever. I thought he’d jump at the chance of sitting with me. I thought we’re getting friendly. Is he…mad at me about something?
As I sit down, I wrack my brain, trying to figure out what I could have done wrong. Did I say something to offend him? He was thankful that I asked him to sit with me, so it doesn’t seem like he’s upset with me. Maybe whatever is bothering him has nothing to do with me. Maybe itdoeshave to do with the pain in his eyes.
I busy myself with my phone in order to not think about Ryder for the rest of the drive back to school. Once we get there, the team piles off the bus, most still chatting animatedly abouttoday. I grab my backpack and climb off the bus, finding Addie and Naya standing outside.
When Addie notices I got off the bus without Ryder, her eyebrows furrow. She looks like she wants to ask questions, but maybe she doesn’t want to mention it in front of Naya.
Ryder is the last to get off the bus. He sulks toward the boys’ dorm. Addie and I exchange a glance. I just shrug.
“So we’ll chat later,” Naya says, giving me and Addie a hug. “Thanks so much for today.” She squeezes me. “For everything. My mom wassoproud of me.”
I smile as I draw back. “Of course. You’re a talented dancer and you deserve to be on the team.”
She hugs me again. “I have homework I need to do. Big test on Monday.” With a frown, she waves to me and Addie, then enters the girls’ dorm.
