Page 60 of I Don't Need Your Love
“Sure I am.” He flashes me another smile. “Ask all the girls I’ve hung out with.”
I give him a look and roll my eyes.
“I’m serious, Carly. It sounded like you wanted to say something important.”
I trace the hem of my dance uniform, keeping my eyes on my hand. “I just wanted to say that I forgive you. And I’m willing to put the past behind us and start over.”
He doesn’t say anything, which causes me to lift my eyes to his. His expression is a mix of disbelief, shock, surprise, but most of all relief and joy.
“Really?” he asks, a smile creeping onto his face.
I feel my mouth stretching into a grin. “Really.”
His smile expands by a thousand and it looks like he wants to dance through the entire bus. But he keeps his composure and says, “Thank you, Cap’n. It means a lot to me.”
Every part of me urges me to ask why it matters to him whether or not I forgive him. I mean, he can forget all about me and just move on with his life. Do I actually matter that much to him? But I don’t want to rock the boat. He and I are getting along now, and maybe we can even be friends one day. A flutter of excitement takes over my stomach at the thought of being his friend, and I don’t know why. Is it fulfilling my six-year-old self’s dream? After all, all I wanted was to be his and Blake’s friend.
Yeah, that has to be it. Because sixteen-year-old me shouldn’t feel any excitement at the thought of being close to him. He has his life and I have mine, and there’s no need to merge our lives.
“Carly, are you here? Looks like you went away for a second.”
“What?” I blink and shake my head. “Yeah, I’m here. Just, um, thinking…”
He laughs softly. “Well don’t hurt yourself. The team needs our captain at the performance.”
“Don’t worry. I wouldn’t miss the performance for the world.” I suddenly sit up when the bus slows down before a large building. “Oh my gosh, are we here?”
Ryder leans closer to get a glimpse out the window, his body pressing into mine. It’s not strong enough to hurt me, but he is kind of all over me. I can’t say I hate it, though.
My eyes widen. Oh my gosh, what am Ithinking?
“Looks like it,” he says as he stretches his neck to better see out of the window, turning his head in different directions. “I seeteams from other schools. Man, they have some sick uniforms. But I like ours the best.”
At my lack of response, he gazes down at me. “Oh, sorry!” He quickly pulls away. “I didn’t know I was flattening you.”
“Please,” I say with a wave of my hand, even though my heart pounds. “You’re not that strong and I’m made of tough stuff.”
He tugs on one of my ribbons. “You definitely are, Captain. Probably one of the strongest people I know.”
I don’t have a chance to respond because Coach Moreno stands up and announces, “We have arrived! Everyone off the bus in an orderly fashion. I don’t want anyone to hurt themselves or ruin their uniforms.”
“Oh my gosh,” I whisper as I press my hand to my chest. “My heart is racing so fast.”
“It’ll be okay,” Ryder says softly. “I’m super nervous, too. But I believe in us. I believe in you. You’re the best captain in the world and you’ll lead us to victory.”
I try to swallow, but my throat is so dry. “I’ve been dreaming about this moment for years and now it’s finally here. I can’t believe it.”
“You made it happen, Carly.” He puts his hand under my chin, tilting my head so I’m forced to look into his eyes. “Youare making your dreams come true. You’re an inspiration.”
“An inspiration? Yeah, right.”
“Look at Naya.” He nods toward the front of the bus, where she’s gushing with Addie, her whole face lit up. “She was pretty depressed the last few weeks. You’ve changed her life. And look at Coach.” He nods to Moreno, who is frowning at one of the kids for ruining her hair and makeup. “I have no idea what troubles she’s going through, but I think she needed this, too. You see, Carly? You’re an inspiration.”
“But my actions were selfish. I just wanted to dance.”
“Then you would have just danced. But you didn’t just want to dance. You wanted to bring people together. You wanted to change lives.”
I watch him for a few seconds, barely recognizing the boy who sits before me. Since when has he gotten so…grown up? So deep and observant and kind? I thought all he cared about was himself.
