Page 38 of I Don't Need Your Love
He bends close to his screen. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just thinking.”
My home life sucked, which was why I loved hanging out with Blake. He was like my brother. I guess that was why I kept pushing Carly away. Because she didn’t understand what I was going through like Blake did. I would talk to my buddy about something my parents said or did and he understood. He was there for me. He’d talk to me and listen to me. Then Carly would come and…I hate to say it, but she’d get in the way. She didn’t understand that I was over at their house a lot because I hated mine.
But now that I’m older, I realize that it was no excuse to shut her out.
“My parents haven’t said a word to me,” I admit to him. “Not even a text since I enrolled here.”
His face fills with sympathy, same as it did when we were little. “I’m sorry.”
I hold up my hand. “Thanks, but I’m not surprised. Sometimes I wonder if I should just cut them out of my life.”
“Do you think you and them could ever…?”
I sigh heavily. “You know that all my life, I felt like they never wanted me. Then when I was twelve, I overheard them saying that I was a mistake.”
Blake nods slowly and sadly.
I was lying in bed and my parents were arguing, probably over something silly like usual, and then somehow the conversation shifted to me and how I held Mom back from following her dream to be an actress. She said I was a mistake. Imagine twelve-year-old me finding out my parents never wanted me.
“I’m surprised they even kept me. They could have put me up for adoption or I would have ended up in the foster care system.”
He doesn’t say anything. Most times, he just lets me talk.
“But I’m sixteen now. Soon, I’ll go off to college and start my own life. Do they even want to be part of that? And if for somecrazy reason I settle down one day and have kids, would they want to be part of their grandkids’ lives?”
He nods and we’re quiet.
“Never mind that.” I force a smile. “Have you finally asked Tina out?”
“Nope. Asked Ximena instead.”
My eyes go wide. “Her best friend? How’d you manage that?”
He shrugs. “Tina asked Ximena to gather intel on what kind of girl I like and as we were talking, we hit it off and I asked her out. Tina was very cool and supportive about it.”
“Nice. I’m happy for you.”
He smiles. “Thanks. What about the girls at your fancy school? They hot?”
“Super hot.”
For reasons I can’t understand, Carly’s face and fiery red hair pop up before my eyes.
“How many have you gone out with?” Blake asks with a lifted brow.
We’re very similar, but where we differ is with girls. He’s like Carly and hopes to find his soulmate in high school. I like to have fun and couldn’t care less about soulmates. I don’t believe in them or in love. What I believe in is having a good time. Blake doesn’t particularly like that I’m not serious about girls, but he doesn’t judge me. Besides, I always make it clear to the girl before we date that I’m not looking for endgame. Who’s endgame in high school, anyway?
“There are these twins…” I tell my best bud all about the Parker twins and that we hung out and danced together at the party.
“Man, you don’t waste a minute, do you?” he teases.
I stick my tongue out at him. “You should try having more fun instead of looking for your special girl.”
He sticks his tongue back out at me. “Some of us are romantic.”
I snicker. “No such thing, dude.”
