Page 95 of Damaged Boys Don't Fall For Bubbly Girls
He returns the smile.
We sit out here for a short while in silence. I shift a little in my seat, wishing he would say something because this feels somewhat awkward. I used to be completely fine sitting with him in total quiet. Is it different now because he and I might be…whatever?
I guess I can’t expect everything to fall into place so easily. Life isn’t like that.
Slowly lifting my eyes to Finn, I find his gaze pasted on me. I never noticed how soft his dark brown eyes are. But when Ilook into them, I don’t feel like I’m getting sucked into them and gazing into his soul. Like I did with Brock. And I don’t feel the warmth, or the butterflies, or the heart racing I felt with Brock.
I shake my head. It’s not right to compare them. If I want to seriously have a shot with Finn, I need to see him for who he is, not compared to Brock.
“Did you say something?” he asks.
“What?”
“You shook your head. Did you say something?” His brows come down. “Did I say something?”
I laugh lightly. “No, sorry. Just telling my brain to shut up.”
“Oh.” He laughs, too.
In the past, he might have teased me. Maybe said something like, “Yeah, your brain talks too much sometimes.” But he doesn’t say anything like that. Hmm, is he going to treat me differently now? Well, duh, of course he will. But will it be that different? I don’t want it to be.
Maybe we just need time to figure it out? That’s normal, right?
“You look like you’re in deep thought,” Finn says.
I laugh lightly again. “My brain really needs to shut up.”
“It’s okay. There’s a lot to think about.”
“Right.”
“The bell will ring soon, though. I don’t want to be late to class.”
“Yeah. Me either.”
We stand up from the bench and head into the school building. The guys are all gathered at my locker, and my heart leaps into my throat when I notice that Brock is there, too. This odd sensation passes through me. It’s…excitement. Joy. Like my heart is super happy to see him.
“There you two are!” Cooper calls. “Where did you run off to? We were worried you ditched without us.”
Brock spins around. When he and I lock eyes, my breath gets knocked out of me. But no. Brock is just my friend. Myfriend. The best thing for him is for me to be there for him as hisfriend.
“You know we all can’t ditch together,” Nate reminds Coop. “It would look suspicious if eight kids are missing from the junior class on the same day.”
“What were you two doing?” Dean asks with a puzzled expression.
“History assignment,” I blurt.
“Oh, right. Didn’t you give that in, though?” Gael asks.
“No,” both Finn and I say.
Nate shrugs. “Whatever. Let’s head to English.”
I notice Brock’s eyes move from me to Finn. Does he suspect…? He shouldn’t really be surprised. I mean, he was the one who suggested I try with Finn.
I try to get a sense of how he feels about it, but his expression is neutral. No sadness or jealousy. I guess he really doesn’t have feelings for me.
Why does that hurt? It’s for the best, isn’t it?
