Page 94 of Damaged Boys Don't Fall For Bubbly Girls
I shouldn’t date or get close to Finn just because he has feelings for me. But I also don’t want to shut the door on him if he could potentially be the right guy for me. My mom has always taught me to get out of my comfort zone and let go of my fears, to try new possibilities. Because you never know where life could take you.
For years I thought Brock was the right one for me, but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the right guy for me has been under my nose all this time.
So when Monday rolls around, I get up from bed feeling much better than I did over the weekend. My brain is still stuffed with confusing thoughts, but I have clarity as well. I think I’m ready to take life by the horns and see where I’ll end up.
After eating pancakes with Mom, we wish each other a good day and I sit on the steps to wait for Finn. My fingers wring in my lap. I don’t think I’ve ever been nervous to see him before.
I’m so consumed by my thoughts that I don’t hear the van pull up. When the car honks, I almost fly to the sky.
With a chuckle, Theo sticks his head out of the window. “You were totally spaced out, Lexi!”
I get up from the steps, sweeping up my backpack and making my way to the passenger seat. After wishing everyonegood morning and buckling up, I say to Finn, “Can I talk to you before school starts?”
He seems surprised, but he says, “Sure.”
On the way, the guys, like usual, argue over comics and music, and other random stuff. My mind is packed with my thoughts and feelings about Finn. And Brock, too, but I need to push him away if I want to determine if I actually have a real possibility with Finn.
When we reach school, I lead Finn to the backyard, where we sit side by side on a bench. Some kids eat lunch out here when the weather’s nice, but most kids usually just eat in the cafeteria.
I wring my hands in my lap again, my stomach twisting with nerves and uncertainty. I’m not usually this insecure—I always go after what I want—but this is uncharted territory for me. I have no idea if I’m doing the right thing.
“So what’s up?” Finn asks. We must have been sitting in silence for like five minutes.
“I thought about what you said,” I admit. “Finally,” I add with a nervous laugh.
He laughs nervously, too.
We’re both quiet.
“Um…” I play with my hair. “Maybe we could…try?”
His eyes fill with surprise. “Wait, you want to go out with me?”
“Yeah. I mean…” I play with my hair again. “We’ve known each other for years and get along so well. You’re a good guy, Finn. Honestly, I never saw you as boyfriend material until you brought it up, but maybe you’re right. About Brock, I mean.”
His brows furrow. “What do you mean?”
I stare off in the distance as I try to formulate my thoughts. “Brock is my best friend. He always will be. And he’ll always have a special place in my heart. But maybe that’s all he can be—mybest friend. I guess…” I lower my gaze to my shoes. “I guess I thought he and I would end up together. I think everyone did.”
Finn nods.
“But maybe that’s not meant to be. I’m so happy and thankful that Brock is here, but he’s obviously been through a lot and he told us he doesn’t know when he’ll be ready for a relationship. It’s like you said—I might wait for him forever.”
I can tell that words are bursting to fly out of his mouth, but he’s giving me the chance to say everything that’s on my mind.
“I’m not saying you and I are meant to be,” I explain. “We’re only sixteen—what the heck do we know about that kind of stuff? But you never know what might work out in life. Who knows, maybe you and I are soulmates.”
Finn nods. “We could be. So does that mean you want us to…?”
“We can try,” I offer. “We can hang out, just the two of us, and see where it leads.”
“You sure you want to do this? I hope I didn’t pressure you or anything. It’s not like you have to choose between me and Brock. You don’t have to choose either of us.”
“Yeah, I know,” I assure him. “But it can’t hurt to try, right?”
“Right.”
I put on a brave smile. “Okay. Cool.”
