Page 6 of Sealed With A Kiss
“Let’s go have coffee.” I held out my hand, hoping he would stop staring at me the way he was and just come with me. Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I offered him a smile. “I know I am being strange. I’m sorry. Please, just come with me and give me some time to figure out how to articulate myself.”
Placing his hand in mine, Milo nodded. “All right, I’ll go with you. But don’t be a dick. You didn’t acknowledge our status as fated mates, but instead ran away from me. Then you came in here and took your sleeping child out of my arms, again without a word to me. I mean, at least you apologized, but I don’t want you to think you can act so strange going forward and I’ll allow it. I know you have a lot of mixed emotions fighting inside you, the bond between us allows me to feel that, but I need you to ground yourself and treat me with respect. Communicate withme, don’t just run away, okay? No matter the circumstances, I am your fated mate, but not a doormat.”
6
Milo Mikolov
“So, can you finally tell me what’s going on?” I took the first sip of my cinnamon creme cold brew and waited for Nikolai to speak. We had our coffees and were sitting in the book-nook corner of the café. My favorite area of the café.
We’d decided to take our conversation off campus and grab our brews from the local Pink Coffee Café. I had a feeling it was an excuse to give him extra time to figure out what to say to me. To think of the right words to explain why he kept running hot and cold with me. But if that was what he needed, he could have the extra twenty minutes it took to drive into town and find parking. In the end, I just wanted to know why my fated mate looked at me like he couldn’t wait to touch me one minute and then turn around and bolt away from me the next. I felt his conflicted energy through our bond and after speaking with Rayne, I did understand some of what it may be. It was time for my mate to tell me in his own words.
“I was married.” Nikolai’s brows scrunched, and lips pulled down. A sting carried through our connection informing me it was hard for him to say those words. “Stacey had been my friend since we were children. She was beautiful, kind, smart…everything that was good in the world. I fell in love with her as soon as I knew what romantic love was. She was not my fated mate, obviously, but we were soul-connected just the same. We chose each other and never regretted it. I thought she would be the person I’d spend the rest of my existence with.”
“What happened?” The words were thick and heavy leaving my mouth. Our new bond was strong enough for me to sense how extreme his pain was speaking about her. It would be best if he told me about it now rather than let it fester and ruin what could be between us. My heart hurt for my mate.
Nikolai closed his eyes and bowed his head. “I killed her.”
“Excuse me?” That didn’t sound right. I may have only just met him, but I knew in my soul that my mate couldn’t have killed someone. Not the wife he loved, especially.
“Not technically. But it’s still my fault.” Nikolai opened his eyes and looked straight into mine. The intensity in the hazelnut orbs burned as he spoke. “All I wanted was a family with my wife. If I had known it would kill her, I would have happily spent my life childless. As long as she was by my side.”
“She died giving birth to your daughter.” I reached out and grabbed his hand. My heart filled with warmth when Nikolai turned his palm over and accepted my touch. “Rayne did mention she passed away but not the details.”
Nikolai nodded and looked down at where we were joined. “There was so much blood. The doctors and the witches both tried everything to save her. My nephew, Xavier had a vision a few days before Willow’s due date. It was one of his first major ones and it scared us, but we also thought we could stop it. I think part of me thought it was just a nightmare of alittle boy and we were overacting. But we decided to take extra precautions anyway.”
“Not enough to prevent what he saw from happening.” I couldn’t imagine the guilt and fear that little boy felt. “Did you guys make sure he knew it wasn’t his fault?”
“We have told him. We also made sure to get him into counseling with a witch who has experience with such powers and can help him through the emotions that come with prediction magic. Thanks for caring about him. People sometimes are caught up in what happened with Stacey and my loss that they forget a young boy also experienced something traumatic in that situation.” Nikolai sighed. “After Stacey delivered Willow, the doctors couldn’t stop the hemorrhaging. The midwife-witches we had on site tried everything from the mundane to the magical, along with the medical professionals. Nothing worked to stop the bleeding. What was supposed to be the best day of our lives turned into a nightmare within minutes. She didn’t even get to hold our daughter because she had no strength in her arms. I laid Willow on her chest and touched her tiny fist to her mother’s cheek. I made sure Stacey saw her daughter before she lost consciousness, and I made sure they created a bond by touch. With her final breath, Stacey whispered Willow’s name.”
“Nik, I am so sorry.” The shortened version of his name fell out of my mouth but once I called him that, I realized it felt right to call my mate by the shorter name. “I can feel your love for her through our bond. I know there is nothing I can say that would heal that pain, but I’m sorry you and Willow lost her.”
Nik cocked his head. “Even if I’m your fated mate?”
“Fate made me for you, but part of that bond means that I only want the best for you.” I nodded, confident in the words I spoke. “The love you hold for Stacey is so pure and bold. It flows through our connection because it is a part of who you are andalways will be. She’ll be a part of you always. Her love helped shape you into the man you are. I can’t imagine ever being happy she’s no longer in your life. Even if that meant you and I wouldn’t have been together if she were.”
Silence filled the space between us and we stared into one another’s eyes. Unspoken communication flowed through us. Our energy sources reached out to one another, creating stronger ties of understanding.
“I don’t know what to do. I still love her. But I can’t deny what is between us. Every time I look at you, I want you. Then I feel like I’m cheating on her.” Nik’s whispered confession broke the trance we were in.
I leaned closer and spoke firmly. “You aren’t betraying her by being attracted to me. I know your heart feels that way but you need to know that being with me isn’t cheating on her. There is not one part of me that believes you’d have the ability to betray the person you committed your love to. If Stacey was here on earth with us, you and I would not be here and would not even consider letting anything bloom between us.”
“I know it’s irrational. She’s gone and I am free to find happiness with you. But I need to overcome this block.” Nik sighed. “I made an appointment with my therapist to talk about it. I just needed you to understand, that’s why I walked away.”
“Let me ask you this. Do you need me to leave?” I swallowed hard but had to ask. “I can’t say I would stay away, but if you aren’t ready, I can try to give you space for a few months or however long—”
“No. Don’t leave.” Nik pulled my hand closer to him and bent down to kiss my knuckles. “I might feel some conflicted feelings of guilt over this, but I do know I can’t let you just walk away. Even temporarily. I can’t promise you that we will move at a certain speed, but I do want to see what develops between us.”
“So, what do you need from me?”
“I need you just to be you and let’s get to know each other.” Nik smiled for the first time, and I melted at the first glimpse of his dimples. “Just go slowly with me but whatever you do. Don’t leave.”
7
Nikolai Survolar
“Did you have a specific idea in mind for the date? Or are you just going to wing it?” Zander sat at my kitchen table drinking his second cup of coffee for the morning. He’d come over to take care of Willow since the nanny couldn’t make it. It had been a week since I’d met Milo, and tonight was our first official date.
“I was thinking of taking Milo to eat after checking out an early movie.” I spread butter on my toasted rye bread and poured a tall glass of pulp-less orange juice. “I know Luigi’s is delicious and I did overhear Milo mention his love for Manicotti when he was speaking with Ollie the other day at the picnic we had at the training center.”
