Page 107 of Crazy In Love
“That’s a pretty good start.”
“Franky’s here. And welcome. And happy.” She sighs. “My daughter’s here, safe and well. My best friend is my maid of honor.”
Smug, I allow my lips to curl higher. “Yes, I am.”
“And Chris will make the perfect best man…” She snorts. “When Tommy tells him about it.”
“You think he’ll freak when he finds out he’s gotta stand with Tommy? There are a lot of people out there, Lana. Lots of eyes.”
“He’ll cope. He always does when it matters.” She breathes a soft, contented sigh. “I’m getting everything I ever wanted today.”
“I’m really happy for yo?—”
“So tell me, Fox.” She pulls back, angrily smacking me with a glare that burns me all the way to my toes. “Why do I feel sad, knowing that you’re sad?”
“I’m not sad!”
“You’re a big fat lying liar! You’re breaking your own heart, and seriously, it’s starting to annoy me. I canfeelyour misery. I canfeelyou with one foot already out of town.”
“Which is why I didn’t want you to know about us in the first place!” I ride my arrogance as though it were a proud horse galloping toward battle when, truly, my stallion is nothing more than a toy placed outside of shopping centers. A dollar gets you a minute of ride time. “I wanted to get laid, and I set the rules from day one: keep this shit away fromyou.”
“So you can blamemefor your misery? So you can go back to New York and be all alone, and you can tell yourself it’s not because you’re a coward but because you’re noble and selfless and doingmea favor?”
“No, I?—”
“You asked me not to say anything. And dammit, Fox, I haven’t. Not to Tommy, and not to Chris. I’m walking into my wedding day with a giant secret hidden from the man I intend to marry, a secret that affects him, too! But I’m doing that for you. I came into this week banking on the fact you’d eventually crumble. That I could shame you into action.”
“Really?” I try to laugh. Jesus, I desperately search for humor amongst my heartache. “Shame me into making a different choice?”
“You mean how I wasterrifiedto come back to Plainview, completely and utterly frozen with fear at the thought of facing Tommy again, but you called me out for being a sissy and spurred my ass into action?”
“Yeah, well…”That’ll teach me.“Joke’s on me. I wanted you to be brave, but the consequences meant you’d leave me behind. Worst best decision I ever made.”
“And now I’m trying to convinceyouto be brave. Take the leap, you coward! Stop letting fear dictate your happiness. Stop letting your past be the wall that separates you from your future.”
“Stop talking all poetic and stuff,” I snap right back. “It’s beautiful and infuriating and damn near inspiring enough to make me forget this town hates me.”
“The town is just a town, Fox! It’s just a place. Eventually, all the annoying people will die off, and then us—our generation of really cool, trauma-bonded people—will be the new annoying class, and our kids will complain about us.”
“You paint such a pretty picture.” I wipe my nose on Hazel’s cloth. If I ruin my makeup before the vows, I’m going to besomad. “We could rule this place, inviting people who aredifferentfor cookouts until eventually, everyone breeds, and we create our own diverse community.”
“If that’s what you need, then I’ll cook. Every single time. If you need aplane and a weekend house in New York, then that’s what we’ll get you. If you need to renovate the entire apartment above the bookstore, then I’ll do that for you. Whatever you need, Fox, I’ll make it happen.”
“All to keep me here in your town?”
“All to ensure you’rehappy,” she presses, her eyes glittering with pain. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, I just need to know you’re happy. But this…” She gestures toward me. “This sadness I see every time I look at you, that’s gonna ruin my wedding day for sure.”
I snort. Because if I don’t, I might sit in the corner and cry.
“Your gift to me could be laying a giant, juicy kiss on Chris’ lips right where everyone else could see.”
“Oh, God. It’s like you don’t know him at all. He wouldhatethat.”
“He would hate the attention. He wouldlovethe claim. Jesus, he would lose his mind at the clear, direct communication, since yourwe should get dinner in public somedayis not the same asI love you, and I want to be with you.”
Shit. Fuck. Dammit.
Just friends.
