Page 56 of Artemysia
It’s my choice, and I have my reasons. Maybe one day, I’ll be able to tell Delphine.
But now, maybe because I’ve always been there for someone else’s gratification—I’ve gotten good at giving pleasure, at reading the other person’s unspoken physical desires, at finding everything else that can be done in the bedroom. Delphine is dripping wet, breaths grunting out of her, and I keep my mouth working her clit as I spread her, pushing two fingers inside. Her head drops against the headboard, her face an open-mouthed expression of ecstasy as she rides my hand.
“There it is,” I mumble into her. She clamps, vise-like, onto my two fingers while I thrust my hand faster.
She releases with a shuddering groan. I try not to thrust my hips into the bed, or else I’m going to come on myself. Fucking hell. My cock throbs for her.
When she thinks she’s done—little does she know—I slow for a bit and let her catch her breath. Just barely.
I start again, adding another finger to curl into that sensitive spot inside her. A little rougher, a little deeper. A bit softer with my tongue. She tastes so damn good, I don’t want to stop.
After a short while, she comes again with a yelp, her fingers tangled in my hair, pulling to keep my mouth on her clit. It sends a thrill through me, and I melt into her grip.
“That’s my girl. You’re not finished yet,” I mutter, encouraging her to let go. It’s a longer orgasm this time, and her eyes slam shut in pleasure.
She lets out a long, strangled moan, ending on a few silent gasps, because I know she doesn’t want the others to hear us. She exhales deeply, and is done. For now.
There’s nothing I want more than to do it all again with her. It’s always a bit of a high, doling out such moments for others, but never have I enjoyed it more.
It could be the aching hardness of my cock affecting my mind—it’s nearly big enough to rip through my pants at this point—but despite my desire, I fight against reality. Most likely, we will never make it back out of the woods. There’s little possibility for even one of us to come out of Artemysia alive, and zero chance both of us will. So there’s no point in wanting or hoping for anything that resembles a future with her.
Delphine shifts off the headboard and pulls up the quilt. Her face isrelaxed, angelic, and I know her mind is no longer racing as it usually does. And I’m a bit proud of myself for being a part of that, when I know her anxious thoughts are a thorn in her side.
I wrap my arms around her as she settles onto her side, and give her one last little kiss on her cheek. “Sweet dreams, Delphine.” Her skin is still flushed rosy pink.
“Call me Elphie,” she whispers without opening her eyes.
“Elphie…” Her name slips coarsely from me as I tighten my grip on her.
Elphie. She unsettles me. She’s strong, honest, caring, even a little too optimistic. Messy, impulsive, stubborn. She wants to save humanity one person at a time, and even as she bumbles through it, she’s certain she can make a difference in the world.
And sheismaking a difference. She’s amazing. So there’s no way she could ever fall for someone like me and envision a future. For women, I’m an object of lust, desirable only because they don’t know me, and in the past, I used them to prove that I could do more than just kill. That maybe, I was less of a monster if I could offer and give pleasure.
Pleasure, for the sake of proving to myself that I could be human.
I needed proof.
Not because there was care, affection, or love.
But that’s not how it is with Delphine. I’m not looking to prove anything.
There’s care. And affection.
There’s more.
She finds my hand on her forearm and twines her fingers with mine. It scrapes at my heart. I feel like I would leap into a fire for her right now. Not just to save her, but for no reason at all—if only because she wished me to.
Perhaps being burned alive would be less frightening than the feelings coursing through me. The feelings that throw my pulse into an erratic beat in the dark, cold night…
…all over a birthday wish that simply can never be.
“We all save dreams in a jar and count them before we go to sleep.” - Delphine
Iawake in a groggy state of bliss. Based on the fire dwindling in the hearth, I’ve probably been out for an hour.
Riev’s heavy arms are wrapped around me, but he’s breathing deep. I ease out of his embrace and button up my flannel shirt to search for my underwear.
Oh gods, my underwear.
