Page 57 of Artemysia
Exposed for a moment as I rummage around, I find he’s folded the garment neatly at the foot of the bed. I slip it on and scold myself for letting things get so far. I don’t lose control and fall into lust. I am good at saying no.
Except I didn’twantto say no and, despite all the reasons I listed in my head not to do anything, I allowed him to give me the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had. Was it one long one? Two?
My breathing comes faster even as I recall it. He’s confident. And excellent with his mouth. Perhaps beingthere only for the other person had taught him things. I don’t question his reason for holding back on sex—or what he chooses to do in the bedroom. But I’m curious why he binds himself to such rules. Especially when he seems to despise being limited by laws and regulations, and skirts around society breaking as many as possible.
I creak open the bedroom door and sneak into the unlit kitchen. Outpost Olivier promised all the food we could eat, and I’m starving. Throg says I have the metabolism of a river shrew, a rodent that clears the riverbanks of insects and snails day and night.
He says they starve to death after going a few hours without eating.
“Psst. Captain,” a voice rasps in the dark and giggles.
Ivy has beaten me to the kitchen and is delving deep into the pantry. I see her backside.
She’s naked, except for the band around her ankle that holsters her dagger.
“Oh, sorry,” I whisper, embarrassed, even though Ivy clearly is not.
She whirls around with a preserved goose leg in one hand and a wedge of cheese in the other and makes no attempt at hiding her nakedness.
“Don’t be. The boys are asleep. Join me for a midnight snack? The pantry list says there’s pie, but I can’t find it. I get hungry after all the sex. I mean, that second time was wild even for me—”
I cut her off. “Soundedlike fun.”
“You want in? I can wake them up.”
I laugh, but she fixes me with a look that says she isn’t joking.
“Gods no,” I say quickly.
“Why not?”
I try to answer honestly, to gain her trust rather than push her away for her curiosity.
“First, it would be weird with Throg, who is like a brother, and second, I have to have feelings for someone to sleep with them.” I pause, catching myself because I was just intimate with Riev, but I don’t want to step into that pile of elk turd of conflicting feelings. “Right now, I don’t want to get attached and then be hurt.”
“You can be in loveandhave fun. You and Riev?”
“We’re too different. A dangerous mission isn’t a good time to start anything.”
“D-e-n-i-a-l.” She laughs, her heavy breasts moving with her. “The fiery way you look at each other even when you’re arguing—there’s no mistaking that for anything else.”
“Pfft.” I don’t have a reply to that, and I’m not sure if it’s true. My discomfort over discussing my love life with a naked subordinate has grown to unbearable levels, so I duck into the pantry. I slide aside a loaf of bread and reach for a scalloped ceramic dish deep in the cabinet. I’m hit by a wave of hope. Lifting the lid, I discover the flaky crust of a pie.
“Yes! Outpost boy was holding out on us.” I inhale deeply, sniffing warm brown spices and a buttery, caramelized top.
“Meat pie or a fruit pie?” Ivy asks. “I guess there’s only one way to tell…”
She bends a knee and plants a foot on a chair to slide out her ankle dagger, while I avert my eyes from all the exposed body parts that accompany that action. She carves a triangular slice and scoops it out in one hand, holding it up to the dim light of the moons through the window.
“Meat pie!” she practically yells.
“Yes! Cut me one, please,” I say, flicking a wrist to hurry her. “Riev would cry his eyes out seeing us eating like this, our heads stuck halfway in a pantry.”
“You’ve noticed his quirk. He likes things clean and orderly. He polishes his boots and saddle daily—and he folds everything, always leaving things neater than before.”
My books in the clock tower. Cleaning up after dinner. My foldedunderwear.
“Why does he do that?”
