“You practically whisper around half the crew, but the second I walk in, you’re roasting me like I’m a marshmallow. Explain that.”
“Oh, fuck off.” I stick my tongue out at him and he grins.
The game moves on and JacqLyn takes her turn. As she enacts her dare, I move seats, slipping in next to Ryan and whisper, “Are you okay? Or are you just trying to pretend that I don’t exist again?”
His jaw tightens. “Maybe don’t start with me tonight.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “Did you wake up cuddling someone you didn’t want to deal with the morning after?”
He blinks, stunned. I can tell he wasn’t expecting that.
“I didn’t say that,” he murmurs, voice gone to gravel, as if the words cost him something.
“You didn’t have to. You’ve been treating me like a PR liability all day.”
Like I’m something to hide. Something regrettable.
He stares at me hard. For a moment, something unguarded flashes in his eyes. Hurt, confusion, regret. Then it’s gone.
Raven shrieks about JacqLyn picking strip truth or dare and the moment between us breaks.
We turn back to the circle, both pretending nothing just happened. But I can feel the pressure of his attention, like a bruise forming where his gaze touched me. My cheeks are flushed, my chest is tight. Ryan hasn’t taken his eyes off me once.
I shiver with the realization that once we’re alone, there will be no stopping him from taking what he wants.
twenty-four
RYAN
After drinking too many shots,there’s still an elimination ceremony. We make it through the beginning pretty quickly with Raven, Divya, and Nikki. Nikki is sobbing and JacqLyn is clearly plastered. I am trying to keep my face blank while handing out roses like I’m emotionally available and not falling apart inside. Being tipsy while I supposedly make life-altering decisions isn’t really sitting well with me.
Wren is near the back of the crowd. Her chin is up, her shoulders are squared, but I can tell she’s tense. Her eyes keep flicking toward me like she’s looking for something and then looking off into the distance. I hand her a rose second to last.
She grips the stem so hard that it breaks on the way back to her spot. She stumbles slightly, her heel catching on the uneven tile. I move without even thinking about it. One step forward and my hand is on her elbow, steadying her.
She looks up at me, surprised. “Thanks.”
I swallow. “Of course.”
My hand lingers a half second too long. She peers up at me, her breath catching. Then I force myself to move away. The cameramen circle us, catching every moment. I taste bile at the back of my throat.
She used to blend in so much I’d forget she was even there. Now I can’t stop tracking her. Every damn move.
I end up sending Letitia home. Not anything personal against her. I just… I can tell we don’t mesh together. By the time I’m done, I’m exhausted. Wren doesn’t even meet my gaze as she flees.
I storm back to my room, slamming the door and pressing my palms to my eyes. I’m not sure what happened today. I wonder if the alcohol caused me to be soft toward Wren, that instinct to help her, to touch her in front of everyone.
It’s going to ruin both of us. The cameras are hungry for any sign of me showing even the vaguest interest in any of the girls. Wren deserves someone better. Someone stable. Someone who doesn’t have a job where they’re on the road all the time. Most importantly, someone who doesn’t mind people watching their vulnerable moments.
I get changed out of my clothes that still kind of smell like tequila, then take a shower, chugging a bottle of water while I clean my body. When I get out of the shower, my phone lights up as it lies on my bed. I wrap a towel around my waist and pad over to it, looking down at the screen.
It’s her, of course.
Wanna talk?
I hesitate and then type back.
About what?