I get up and leave the room quickly, pretending that Ryan’s shirt isn’t burning my skin.
Tonight’s group date starts with everyone doing a shot of tequila together. I wince as it burns down my throat. I’m not much of a drinker. Tequila reminds me why. Liquor makes me too honest, too messy, too likely to reveal every secret I’ve ever kept.
It’s what the producers call a low-stakes bonding night. Which is code for dress casual but slutty, because we’re going to pump you full of alcohol and give you a reason to be stupid.
We sit on the back patio in a loose circle. Everyone is already buzzed. Ryan sits three spots away, beer bottle in hand, looking a little too serious for a man surrounded by tittering drunk women. He hasn’t looked my way once, like last night evaporated with the morning sun.
I haven’t spoken to him all day. He texted once earlier.Sleep OK?Then nothing. I didn’t answer because I didn’t know what to say. How do you casually respond after your entire heart unraveled in someone’s arms?
So now he’s acting like I don’t exist. Fine.
Two can play at that game.
JacqLyn spins the bottle and it lands on Raven. There’s a big bowl full of questions and dares. She waves her hands over it.
“What will it be? Truth or shot?”
Raven eyes her, then takes a shot before the question is even read. “I don’t trust you with any of my secrets. None of you.”
That gets a laugh. Next, it’s Nikki’s turn. I see that she has recovered from the hiking excursion and is gamely trying to act like it never happened. Okay, then. She chooses to take a gamble on the contents of the bowl…
Raven’s lips curve up as she reads the card.
“Do a lap around the patio wearing nothing but a beach towel.”
Nikki stands up looking jubilant. “I think a beach towel would be more than I’m wearing right now.” She looks down at her micro skirt and tube top. “What do you think, Ryan?”
Ryan smiles and tilts his head. “I think you’re right.”
Nikki does a quick lap and Raven takes a shot. The game is chaotic and loud. Divya lets Letitia eat whipped cream out of her belly button, which is hysterical for everyone.
Then it’s my turn.
“Truth or shot?” Raven asks.
I’ve had two shots so far and that’s too many for me, so I opt for the other choice. “Truth.”
Raven asks, “Who here do you think is faking it the most?”
I think about it for a second, look around the circle, then opt to take the shot. Because the person faking it most here is me, pretending Ryan hasn’t hollowed me out.
The whole groupoohsandaahs. Ryan doesn’t look at me, though. He just takes a long pull from his beer.
The cameras circle as Ryan is up at the plate. JacqLyn reads a card to him.
“Kiss someone that you haven’t kissed on the show yet.”
He smiles but doesn’t move. He thinks about it for a moment and then shakes his head and takes a shot.
Everyone laughs, but there’s a ripple of uncertainty. My stomach twists uncomfortably. I refuse to believe that his hesitation has anything to do with me. But God, I hope it does.
I lean in, emboldened by the three shots of expensive tequila. “What’s the matter, Haart? You running out of eligible victims?”
Now his gaze finally cuts to me. “I just didn’t feel like faking anything tonight. Is that all right with you, Wren?”
Ouch. With a capital O.
I raise an eyebrow. “Is cryptic and broody your new personality trait, or are you saving that just for me?”