Page 17 of Despite It All
“It’s alright.” I look at Wyla. I mean,reallylook at her. It’s been years since I’ve seen her, and time has done nothing to diminish her beauty. Honestly, she’s even more beautiful than I remember. She's still this petite brunette, but her hair is shorter. I remember having that hair wrapped around my fist for the majority of the night, but I think I like her short hair better. It’s just above her shoulders, but still long enough I could still grab ahold of it.
Oh, bad thought, we aren’t here for that. Despite how fucking awesome sex with her was, that’s out of the picture right now. I need to focus on the having a daughterpart first. Getting Wyla back is the immediate second part though.
Wyla clears her throat. “Want to sit?” I nod and follow her to the couch. “So, I’m sure you have a thousand questions. Why don’t we start there?”
Thousand is low balling, I don’t even really know where to start. “So, today’s her birthday? Four, right?”
“Technically, it was Wednesday. She was born April 15th, but yes, she’s four.” Wyla’s voice is steady, but she fidgets with the rings on her fingers.
April 15th. After double checking quick math in my head, that seems about right. “And all was good… when she was born?”
“Yeah, both of us were good. She came about a week early, but she was healthy, no big complications.”
I just nod. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around childbirth, but I know I hate the fact that I wasn’t there for it. “I wish I could’ve been there,” I whisper.
“Yeah… me too.” Wyla stares down at her hands, as she continues to twist her rings. “Jett, I swear, I tried to find you. I begged the hotel to give me any information they had on you, but they said there weren't any Jetts in their system for that weekend. I went back to the bar we met at and waited for hours, staring at the door, praying you’dwalk in. I didn’t even know if you lived in Nashville, but I walked that city multiple times looking for you.”
If she only knew how many times I’d done the same. “Yeah, I live in Seattle, technically.” I sigh. She tried to find me. I believe she did, but I still feel like I’ve been betrayed. “Why’d you sneak out? That morning… why?”
She practically winces at the question. I want to take it back immediately, but I need to know.
“I don’t know, I panicked. I don’t do stuff like that. I don’t do reckless or irresponsible things. Normal Wyla would have made you work for it anddefinitelywould have gotten your full name and number first… but that night, I didn’t want to be Normal Wyla. I wanted to be in the moment and have fun, but when the sun came up, the old me came back. We both agreed on it being a one-night stand. I assumed you would have been relieved to find me gone in the morning.”
“Well, you know what they say about assuming.” I don’t know why I say it, but I guess my pride is hurt, because I did want her number the next morning. I wanted a lot more than her number. I still do.
“Jett.” Wyla takes a deep breath, like she wants to say more but shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter now. We can fight about what-ifs all day. It doesn’t change the fact that we are here now.”
She's right, it won’t change what happened.
“I get this is hard, but she’s pretty amazing.” Wyla smiles genuinely for the first time today. That nose scrunch smile will be the death of me, I’m sure. “I mean this in the nicest way, Jett, but what are you wanting?”
Isn’t that the million-dollar question. Really, I want all of it. I’d love nothing more than to start seeing Wyla and see where the relationship would go, but I also know we don’t really have the luxury of figuring this out light heartedly.
“I honestly don’t know.” I run my hands over my face. “I know I want to be a part of her life. I want some custody of her…” Panic erases her beautiful smile at the C word. “Hey, listen, I’m not taking her from you. We won’t rush this. I’m going to be in Aster Creek for the next two weeks. I want to spend time with her, and then we can talk about how we want to move forward at the end. I also mean this as nice as possible, but she’s mine too, Wyla.”
“Okay, so, um… tomorrow. Why don’t you meet us at my sister’s coffee shop for breakfast, then we can spend the day together… take her to the park and do some things she likes to do.” She swallows down her emotions the best she can, but a tear still manages to slip out.
My thumb swipes across her cheek without thinking about it, and she gives me a tight smile. “Do we tell her who I am?”
“Yeah.” Wyla nods. “We can do that at breakfast. I can’t say she’ll call you dad, or know how she will react, but she deserves to know who you are just as much as you do.”
A whole new level of anxiety takes over. Dad. I’m her dad. How is she going to take this?
“What have you told her about me?”
“Not much. She's asked about having a dad before, but she’s also four. The first time she asked, I made this big thing about how you couldn’t be here and stressed that you loved her no matter what, and she just shrugged and continued to play with her babies. She hasn’t really asked since.”
I nod, staring off at the ground. “Okay, so tomorrow, what time?”
“Nine-thirty. The store is in town, it’s pretty easy to find since the town is small, but I’ll text you the address.”
I reach out and take her hand in mine. An emotion crosses her face that I can’t quite decipher, but she doesn’t pull away.
I look at Wyla’s face. So much seems to be unsaid, but I don’t want to pushher too much.
“Okay… Wyla, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you my full name or give you my number. I’m sorry you did this alone.”
“I wasn’t completely alone. I have a great family that helps a lot, but I appreciate that. I’m sorry I snuck out in the morning.”
